Two week post picc

So it has now been a whopping two weeks since my PICC line was pulled. That begs the question: How am I feeling? Since it was pulled I have felt a range of emotions. Fear, Joy, Happiness, Emptiness, Anxiety, Thrilled (to not have to have an umbrella for light rain). So many words can be used to describe the last two weeks.

Joy: It has been simply wonderful to be able to take a shower or bath whenever I want without having to run to my husband first for him to put on the Dry Pro PICC Line Cover. In fact, there are many days when I took two baths and showers just because I could. It has been Joyful to be able to hug my friends without fear of being hurt. It has been wonderful to touch my left ear with my right hand over my head. Now why on earth I'd want to do that .. I don't know, but the point is that I CAN!

Happiness: I am happy that I don't have to taste Saline & Heparin or feel the fluttery chest feeling when I am getting an infusion. I've not made the opportunity to spend the night somewhere, but if I did ... I wouldn't have to worry about lugging gloves, alcohol swabs & Heparin and finding a compassionate person that would be willing to do my nightly Heparin shots in the PICC Line.

Fear: What if I have a set back to which it was a mistake that it was pulled. What if it doesn't heal properly? What if ... Yes there were tons of What if's, but is it healing properly .. yes it is. In fact, the hole looks really really good. It almost looks as if there was never anything there to begin with. My biggest fear is the set-back one though. AND ... my blood work on Tuesday. For the first time since May, I'll have a needle going into my veins. I am scared. Go ahead call me a scaredy cat, but I had a tube in which they could draw blood any time they wanted. I never had to worry about passing out or pain b/c the blood draws never hurt. ON Tuesday .. it will hurt. I may pass out. :(

Emptiness: How can I express this ... My nightly ritual has become routine. It feels empty not to do the things I needed to sustain life. I feel empty not having a tube in my arm. It feels weird not having to restrict my movement or my weight lifting capacity. I was "pushing" something on the floor with my feet and arms the other day until I realized I could actually lift it up and not "fear" that I would pull out the tube. It felt weird .. and empty.

Anxiety: Goes hand and hand with fear. Basically I have severe anxiety about future blood draws/IV's and about back sliding. Also about a potential future PICC Line. What if .. there are those two little words that give anxiety every time ... What if I need another one in the future?

Mainly though ... I am THRILLED. I am thrilled to be able to do all the things I haven't been able to do. It is thrilling to be able to walk out in the rain without fear that I will hurt my PICC Line or even worse my body. I am thrilled that I can go hang out with people without fear that they will hit my arm and hurt my line ... I am thrilled to be able to go bowling if I want (and I will .. just haven't done it yet) and walk on the beach without fear and swim & hottubbing and .. I could go on and on with all the reasons I am thrilled that it is gone.

But, How am I doing?

I am doing okay. I had a rough couple of days last week that really scared me. On Sunday I woke up dizzy and miserable. I felt like I was in someone else's body from a year ago. I had a headache and my muscle twitches were off the hook. My "fear" was becoming reality. I was taking a step back. I woke up throwing up in my mouth what tasted like acid and it scared me. After taking a deep breath (or four), I went back to sleep. Monday was not good either. I felt very much unconnected to my body. I felt as if I wasn't really there. My eyes would glaze over and I'd forget where I was. I knew that if I felt like this by Wednesday I would have to call my doctor. Tuesday I woke up feeling a bit better, but I was still feeling dizzy and muscle twitching. By Wednesday this disconnection feeling was pretty much gone. So now here I am with pretty much the twitches. I haven't had another spell of throwing up acid and my headache isn't ther either.

So now .. I am doing okay. I go back on Tuesday for another MSA. THis will help determine which supplements I need to be on. I am almost certain I will restart Vitamin D, a Borrelia Series (a new one for me), OSR (a new one for me), Fiber stuff (old one for me), VER (old one for me), Adrenal Pep (old one for me) and a bunch of others including one for yeast. I haven't had a single supplement (except the Fiber stuff) in two whole weeks. What a weird feeling: a good feeling, but weird one none-the-less.

An update on me!

songs to the right

Okay so some of you may absolutely *love love love* the songs that are to the right. Some of you may not like them so much. Well .... I find them hysterical. Once while driving (probably riding actually since I never drive us anywhere and he does all the driving), one of the songs by The Fray came on. My friend has the ability to make fun of just about any song on the radio and he began "singing" one of them. I think I about peed on myself that day. It would have made the jug-o-pee test easier has he been around to make me laugh so hard that it created the urge to go.

Anyways, I needed a bit of a chuckle yesterday so I added four The Fray Songs on my profile so that I could get a chuckle when I needed them. :o)

Inspirational Thursday

Edited to add that I am very happy this morning. My Tarheels played again last night and won. They even added Tyler Zeller to the game. He hasn't played since November because he broke his hand. We thought they might not play him this season, but Zeller had differnet ideas. He is going to be a Monster on the court. Love him already and I've only seen him play like 3 times. (once was in person woot woot).

Now onto your regularly scheduled Inspirational Thursday.

This song got me through many dark days. Whenever I was at my lowest point, I would listen to this. It was lift me up. I would sing it over and over and over at the trepidation of my husband. He didn't mind the song ~ it was my singing! :o)

Praise you in this storm
by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

**** If you've missed my previous Inspirational Thursday posts: Here they are for your listening pleasure

If you've missed out: Here are my other Inspirational Thursday Posts

Week 1: It is Well
Week 2: Who Am I? Casting Crowns
Week 3: I Can Only Imagine Mercy Me
Week 4: Mighty to Save Hillsong

Without further ado: Praise you in this storm

Friends

I have the best friend ever.

Seriously, this guy has seen the best and worst of me. He knows what makes me laugh, tries to stop me from crying before I start and most importantly he cares about me no matter whether I'm laughing or crying or my mood is somewhere in between. Other than my husband, he is the one person that I know I can call day or night and he'd be there in an instant no matter what he was doing. Today, I spent the afternoon with my best friend.

I do that a lot, but since I got my PICC Line I spent very little time with my friends. I felt like I just needed to kind of hide away from them and stay to myself. I hate doing that, but I felt like it was important that they not see me with a tube in my arm. Now why I felt the need to do this around the guy that has seen me at my absolutely lowest point, I don't know. But I did not see him a lot. However since January, we've hung out probably 5 times. (keep in mind that we used to see each other at least once a week sometimes as often as 5 times a week ... so 5 times in 2 months is actually not a lot of time for us)

In any case, it's back to the days of good ole J & J time. I love my J time. It takes my mind off my problems and we just focus on laughter. I honestly think if I said half of the stuff I say to anyone else, they'd look at me with a half cockeye look and say "Do what?" But he gets me. He gets my humor and even if he doesn't ... he sure puts on a good act. That's what best friends are for. I am very lucky to have him in my life. We've been friends for over 15 years.

Random words that remind me of my very best friend. :o)

Happiness, Smiles, Laughter, The Fray (much hilarity ensues if we hear any music by The Fray), Angus Beef, Hugs, Love, Snorting, Food, Music, Important, Caring, Family, Music, Silly, Dogs, Couch, Did I mention Music yet?, Tarheels, uh Music? :o) :o) :o)

In any case, Tell your friends that you love them. If yours are half as important to you as mine are to me, it is necessary to remind them how much you care. If you don't, they are liable to walk around this world not knowing how much they matter.

My Fave posts

Here are some of my favorite posts. :o)

Climbing the Lighthouses - September 18, 2008
How I met my husband - September 23, 2008
Forgiveness - October 8, 2008
Football Friday Fun - October 16, 2008
Past, Present and Future - November 6, 2008
I am so rich! -November 23, 2008
Remembering Eva - December 10, 2008
I am so happy! - December 21, 2008
My year in Review - December 31, 2008
Snow in NC - January 20, 2009
Time Travel - January 21, 2009
WGI show - February 15, 2009
My Not Me Mondays - February 16, 2009

Do you have a favorite post of mine? If so lemme know what it is ... :o)

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


This was a doozy of a week. There are so many things that I did not do.

Because I never ever take pictures of things, I did not document with photos how my PICC line hole looked every day. No way would I ever do that. I most definitely did not post them on facebook for my friends to see.

Day 1

Day 2: Fingers were NOT for Emphasis. :)

Day 3: You do not see THREE fingers up for the third day. Absolutely NOT.
Also you do not see a rash around the PICC Line hole. I am NOT allergic to latex in Band-aids. It is not possible that I'd be so stupid as to use something I have a sensitivity to in order to cover my insertion hole with. *DOH*

Day 4: Your mind is playing tricks on you again. I am not holding up four fingers to emphasis that this is the 4th day post PICC removal.



Day 5: You do not see a sign here that indicates Day number 5 with a "hello" too my Not Me Monday Readers. There is no way because I always have my husband take the picture and this would indicate that he was not home. There is no way I'd do a self-portrait just for the purposes of this blog!

I did not go to Bojangles with my husband on Valentine's Day for our dinner either. What kind of idiot would want to go there for a special date with the hubby? We also did not head over to Target and Staples to find colorful envelopes so that I could address 50 letters to senators. I do not advocate anything so I most definitely would not write 50 different people to encourage them to support NC Integrative Medical Doctors and certainly would not spend over 100 dollars in supplies to get my letters noticed! Stay tuned next week when I share with you what I did not do this week. In the mean time, go visit my old Not Me Mondays:

Week 1: Wii Fit Cheater
Week 2: OCD Shoe Lace
Week 3: "Your in" for a real treat on this one.
Week 4: I'm 12 again!
Week 5: PICC me! PICC me!

WGI

So for those that don't know: I used to be in the Color Guard. In the fall, Color Guard members perform in the Marching Band. In the winter, we perform inside in the gym. Well it is appropriately enough called Winter Guard. My pictures aren't that great because in Winter Guard you aren't allowed to use flash photography for two reasons: It messes up the performers and it distracts the adjudicators (aka judges). I've been on the other end of flash photography and every time I took a picture I made sure the flash was OFF.

So I went to a Winter Guard show yesterday. On one hand, I had a blast. It was so relaxing sitting over here:

It was also nice to talk to old guard friends. I ran into so many people that I knew from when I was marching. It made me a bit sad that they were either still marching OR coaching. By sitting in the stands, it made me sad that I was unable to do this:

Tossing Sabres:

Spinning Flags:
BTW: This guard is called Assembly Line. They are a group of people that have graduated high school. This group has been "Assembled" since 1986. One member has marched every single year. I just love her. She's so sweet & funny. We got to talk at length yesterday. Another member is my best friend's sister. I could join if I wanted I'm sure, but with all my health problems over the last year it has been impossible. I sure do miss it though.



Tossing a Rifle:



Getting on the floor and dancing like this:


I even missed setting up and being asked "Is the Guard ready?"

I've been to several guard shows as a spectator and every time it gets a little easier, but how I just stare at the rifles and want to pick it up. How I really want to wear a cute and vibrant uniform and get in front of the crowd ... So much so that I almost put on THIS ... walk into the school and say "I'm here for the Chattahoochie Winterguard. Can you tell me where they are setting up?" just to see what the ladies at the front door would say!

Assembly Line's show last night courtesy of Greta Patterson

September Lyme Posts

I wrote this a while ago. It was never completed, but it posted today anyways. Oh well. Here it not in it's entirety.

The First Post: What my blog is about!

Next I wrote several blogs on Tick Borne Illnesses. Here they are:

Tick Borne Part 1
Tick Borne Part 2
Tick Borne Part 3

I also wrote some on my diagnoses and therapy.

My diagnosis
My therapy
A day in the life of my treatment

I talked about my PICC Line in September 2008.

PICC Part 1
PICC Part 2
"Anniversary with PICC"
Problems with the PICC
PICC line story at the hospital
More on my PICC

I also had some "itching" and "rashes" in September of 2008

Itching
Why am I itching?

I saw my blood under a really cool microscope.
Bradford Microscope

I talked about my emotional roller coaster
Mood Swings


And also saw the amazing documentary:
Under Our Skin
A review of Under Our Skin

Going to WGI

If you can't be with the one you love on Valentine's Day, Go do something you love! That's my philosophy. So I am going to go watch something I loved for a decade in the 80's/90's. I'm going to a Winterguard competition. And for your viewing pleasure .... a picture of me with my crazy blue eyes! I'm thinking about doing something with my crazy hair soon. It's getting too difficult to wash, dry and straighten. Any ideas?

Spousal Compromise

So one day I wanted to do Wii Fit and my husband wanted to watch Football. Here is how we solved THAT bit of drama ...

Feeling Empty

I am going into this blog post knowing that it is going to sound completely crazy, but hoping that someone understands. I have been feeling a bit empty. This last week I have been alone. I feel like something is missing. I am doing the best I can and I know it's hormones. I know I'll feel better soon, but for now ... I feel empty.

All day I tried to be the opposite of how I felt. I spent all day singing this song:



I was being silly just trying to feel better, less empty.

I guess I never realized how much a part of my life the PICC had become. It's been 6 days since I took a shower with a cover. It's been 7 days since my husband put saline & heparin into my line and I coughed b/c I coughed EVERYTIME he put Heparin in my line. It's been 6 days since a tube went up my arm and into my heart.

My heart is empty. Why am I feeling like this? I think part of it is that I am scared for the future. Will my health stay as good as it has been? I think the other part is that my husband has to work all weekend. I try to pretend like it doesn't matter and that it doesn't hurt, but truth be told ... I prefer not to be alone, empty.

I will feel better tomorrow. I always do after I pour my heart out for the "world" to see. Tomorrow I may go to a WGI show and Sunday the plan is to go bowling with a co-worker.

That would be two more things off my list for post picc line activities. I think I'll feel better when I get them all done.

Here is the list:


1. Take a nice long shower without a picc line cover
2. Find a hot tub somewhere and enjoy it.
3. Swim in a pool.
4. Go Bowling.
5. Walk on the beach
6. Go to a Winterguard show! :o)
7. Spin a rifle. (Okay maybe not .. but it would be fun.)
8. Hug my friends without fear of being hurt
9. Sleep on my right side without hurting

I have done number 1, 8, and 9.

This weekend I plan to do 4 & 6. My husband is planning a small trip for us to the beach sometime in march so that I can do 2, 3 and 5. I probably won't be able to do number 7 unless I have an old one in the closet!

Anyone have any random fun ideas that can bring me out of the dumps? :o) Heck who knows .. I may even delete this message after it's up after a few days.

Inspirational Thursday

Just so I don't have to go post crazy today:

Go Heels! They won a very exciting game of basketball last night against the "Boo" Devils.



Might to Save by Hillsong


My favorite part of the song:

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender



If you've missed out: Here are my other Inspirational Thursday Posts

Week 1: It is Well
Week 2: Who Am I? Casting Crowns
Week 3: I Can Only Imagine Mercy Me

my sock drawer

So a few weeks ago in this post, I mention my "lack" of sock drawer obsession. Well after many requests by Kellie ... Here it is in all it's glory. You see that "lack" of something in part of the drawer ... that's where my bolder holder sits, but I chose to remove that for the blog!

And as a BONUS:

Now .. this next thing someone just needs to nominate me for "What Not To Wear" because .. well .. here it is:

Those shirts go in ONE Drawer. I have another drawer with just as many shirts!

My LLMD Appt

I saw my Dr on February 7, 2009. This is the appointment in which my PICC line was pulled. I found out lots of things that are disheartening, but also left with hope as always.

The reason I have not wanted to post exactly what I am getting on this blog or any other public forum is for political reasons. Some doctors do not believe that Chronic Lyme exists. Some doctors do. Some doctors that do believe in Chronic Lyme believe in strictly Antibiotic treatments and others believe that there are some alternate methods of treatment. I have a doctor that believes in BOTH methods. The more he learns about Lyme & treatment the more he believes in an alternative path of treatment.

In September, I had a live blood analysis done. I have never asked about other patients that have had this done. However in my appointment on Saturday, my doctor mentioned that the doctor that does this Live Blood Cell Microscope now comes to his office every other month. He now clears his day for these appointments so he can see exactly what is going on with his patient's blood cells.

He said in January there were 5 patients that had this Live Cell done. Three of those patients used the treatment like I used. This Experimental Alternative treatment. Two of the patients used regular antibiotics. Apparently two months prior, they both had about the same amount of borrelia in all three forms of bacterial (L shape, spiral shape & cyst shape). Well in January (IF I am understand correctly) .. the 3 patients that did the alternative method ... there were VERY FEW Cyst forms and their spiral loads had decreased dramatically. The two patients that had done antibiotic therapy .... had LOTS OF CYSTS and lots of the other types too.

What does this have to do with MY appointment you ask? Well, I just found out that my doctor is having difficulty getting the alternative therapy. The doctor that invented this along with another physician in Texas are in trouble with the medical board in Texas because they have been using this treatment. The doctor that invented this & the doctor in Texas have had very high success rates with this treatment. I do not know the whole break down of the situation, but either way it is making it difficult for doctors to get this treatment.

As it was, the compouding pharmacy that made this drug wouldn't send it to North Carolina. So my doctor had to order it through another doctor who would sent it to the few patients he had on this protocol. Well now that doctor has closed his office making it impossible for my doctor to get his hands on these treatments.

THIS TREATMENT HAS SAVED MY LIFE!!!!! I am so upset that not only will I not be able to finish this treatment, but that others that have just begun this treatment won't have access to it either. This is why I was so not wanting to talk about it b/c it's so controversial that if anyone got wind of it .. it would be unavailable. I'm frustrated b/c it's gotten me so far.

So what is in my future? For now, we will stop (obviously we have to b/c he has no more of this drug in his office) and will look at an alternative to use. First in a couple of weeks, I will do the MSA test. This is the test that looks at my "energy" and decides which supplements balance in my body and which things I do not need. It has also correctly identified that I had heavy metals, bartonella, babesia, parasites, candida, and borrelia before any tests picked up on it.

I will not be on any Antibiotics. We are going to be working on getting rid of the damage that was caused by Lyme Disease. I will also start on some fiber to get some of this mess out of my colon (how loverly).

As long as things go as planned, I will not have another IV for 6 months. Our plan for now is for me to start on this stuff called OSR. I don't really quite understand it, but from what I do gather it helps the body make Glutathione. With that, it will help my body detox from Heavy Metals and maybe other things (my guess). Then in 6 months, I will have another IV Chelation Challenge. By that time, my veins should have healed from the PICC line and it will have been well over a year since my veins were accessed by IV other than the PICC.

If my metals have decreased, we know that what we're doing is working. IF my metals have increased or stayed the same, we will know that what we're doing is not working. It will be determined at that point whether more IV Chelations are needed. Of course at that time I am guessing if it is determined that I *do* need more of those ... OR I'm backsliding and am needing IV treatments and my vein access is not great ... another PICC will be discussed, but we're both hopeful that will not be needed.

Also I am going to get another Western Blot test just to see how my bands line up (I really want a CDC positive to SHOVE in my regular physician's face).

So that's all for now.

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



On Wednesday when it snowed, I did not mess up writing the date on my car. I did not put 1-2-09 only to try to "correct" it by putting 2-4-09 on top of it.

With the exception of post Anti-microbial treatments, I have the memory of an elephant. Tell me something once and I remember it for a life time so this means I absolutely did not forget on Thursday the code to get into my work place and almost cause the alarm to go off by plugging in my ATM pin code instead.

I absolutely did not panic one bit when the phone rang for me at work and begin to tear up when I heard my nurse on the other line. I did not rush down there to discuss what she said on the phone because there was no way I could not be attentive on the phone with her. And with previous said "memory," there is no way I could forget what she wanted to talk to me about either.

I am such a compassionate person that I would never ever ever consider bringing a cake to my doctor's office when he was having a weight loss support group meeting right after my appointment. I most certainly would never ever use the term "Fatty Patty" when the head huncho of said support group was walking behind me. (oops)

I have never been a "hoarder" of momentos therefore I would NEVER EVER ask to keep the PICC Line after it was pulled and I most certainly not take pictures of it and the oozy goozy yucky mess that was on my sterile dressing after the removal. Nope, not me.

And I would never consider being silly while my husband was taking photos of me on the last day of having the PICC Line. I would never ever "strike THIS Pose."

Stay tuned next Monday for another Crazy Not Me!

For my previous NMM's click on the links below:

Week 1: Wii Fit Cheater
Week 2: OCD Shoe Lace
Week 3: "Your in" for a real treat on this one.
Week 4: I'm 12 again!

2 down!

1. Take a nice long shower without a picc line cover ~ CHECK ~

9. Sleep on my right side without hurting ~ CHECK
Sorry no pictures of this for ya! :o)

2. Find a hot tub somewhere and enjoy it.
3. Swim in a pool.
4. Go Bowling.
5. Walk on the beach
6. Go to a Winterguard show! :o)
7. Spin a rifle. (Okay maybe not .. but it would be fun.)
8. Hug my friends without fear of being hurt

Love is Pt 1 (Bumped)

I wrote this back in December. I feel it needs bumping. I am reminded by an old dear friend of mine that you need to tell people you love them often. I LOVE ALL OF YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS. I am blessed to have all of you in my life whether I've known you 33 years or only 3 minutes. For those that are reading that I knew in Elementary School, you all mean more to me than you will EVER know. Words can not express how happy I am that I have found a lot of you once again. :o)

Blog readers: I am blessed that you have found me. It is my hope that I am able to give those of you with Lyme Disease & other Chronic Illnesses a bit of humor & hope that all will be okay. God has plans for all of you. Please comment and often. It brightens my day to see new comments. Everytime I see the map has new "stars" & red circles, I smile. It reminds me that I am loved by friends, family & random strangers that just happened to google key words that brought my blog to their lives.

Without further ado:

Life Lessons on Love that I have learned over the last 32 (er now 33)years. Oddly enough, I learned most of them in elementary school.

Elementary School Lessons:

* True love is pushing someone on the swing sets even in really really cold weather (Kindergarten)
* Love can be found in the honey part of the honeysuckle. (1st grade)
* When you love someone, you open up their ketchup packets for them when they can't. (1st grade).
* Love is giving someone your last Green M&M because they know it makes you run faster to get to their house (2nd grade)
* Love is asking the teacher if your friend can sit in the front row because she's short after realizing she couldn't see the chalkboard because see couldn't see that far away.
* When you love someone, you must allow them to hear you sing out loud at least once. (1985 - We Are The World)
* Love is sharing the very last pancake at church (3rd grade)
* Love is the feeling of the wind going through your hair when you're going down a very rusty slide in your Sunday best. Hate is landing in the mud puddle at the bottom of the slide. :) Ooops. (4th grade)
* Love is removing an Easter Egg out of it's hiding place 2 months after Easter. (4th grade)
* Love is painting your girl's room blue ... Carolina blue. (again don't remember, but boy it was pretty).
* When you truly love someone, give them bubble gum machine rings (5th grade)
* Love is sharing your 'Now & Laters' right NOW instead of waiting for Later. (5th grade)
* Love is wrapping up a friend's birthday present in "nesting boxes" so that she has to open up 10 packages before getting to the actual gift (5th or 6th grade)
* Love is not freezing your best friend's bra at an over night sleep over (6th grade)
* Love is wrapping your arms around another person's neck and not wanting to let go (6th grade)
* Love is asking "Will you go out with me?" and even when the person says "we're already out," they say it louder ... "NO will you go OUT with me?" (6th grade)
* Love is inviting a girl to a dance and not yelling at her when she is too shy to do what they were there for ... dance. (um don't remember which year this was er maybe 5th or 6th)
* Love is holding onto the front bumper of your car after it is being hurled into oncoming traffic of a very busy highway because somehow someway the little brother in the car made it start going backwards. Thanks Dad :)
* Love is cutting up an old bridesmaid dress to add in a crotch to a dance costume that is way too small (wanna know the story to this one? I believe my 6th grade year of dance our costumes all came in way too small. Mine went below my chest so my mom cut up one of her dresses and cut through the crotch of my dance costume. She then sewed in another crotch so that my dance costume would fit). Thanks Mom. :)
* Love is searching for a very special acorn for your friend, giving it to her and telling her not to throw it away because it would connect you forever. True love is still having that acorn at 32. (but my bad memory can't remember who gave it to me - if you read this and you gave me that acorn ... I still have it in my jewelry box from when I was a kid along with a bunch of bubblegum rings)
* Love is hiding in your best friend's attic in order not to move away.

IT'S OUT!!!!!

IT'S OUT! IT'S OUT! IT'S OUT!

I was told one time that if you're really excited about something you should say it three times! Here is one of the last pictures taken with my PICC line still attached. We're both saying "goodbye." this was about two hours prior to the removal.

:o)

My PICC line was removed this morning as planned!

It went very smoothly. My doctor told me to take a deep breath. He said as I exhaled he would pull it out. By the time I released the breath, he was done. I did not feel a thing. It is uncomfortable now, but I suspect that will end soon enough. It's weird. I feel a bit empty. So as my doctor was about to throw it in the bin, I asked if I could keep it. He said yes and packed it away for me to take home.

Elevated Aluminum

So my Heavy Metal tests came back. They also tested some other "minerals" and metals that aren't considered to be "heavy metals" but that can cause some health issues if they aren't removed from the body properly.

They test for 11 things. Of the 11 things they tested, only 3 things came back out of the reference range. Two of the three things were just barely off the reference range, but the third thing was almost in the very elevated levels.

First things first: Lead was one of the ones in just slightly elevated levels. Most of the times you don't get symptoms until your Lead levels are very high. Lead poisoning can cause Central Nervous problems, Digestive Issues and Renal System problems.

The second thing that was slightly elevated was Nickel. I really couldn't find much data on Nickel poisoning, but it can cause Headaches, Dizziness, Vomiting, Nausea, Irritability, Dry Cough, Sweating and others. Considering my levels aren't that high, I doubt that Nickel poisoning is the cause of my symptoms. It's more than likely: Lyme, Bartonella, Candida or the other metal that was elevated.

The one that concerns my doctor is Aluminum Poisoning. Aluminum Poisoning can cause SEIZURES. This is the one that jumped out at me. What if back when I was having Seizure ... whether it was caused by Aluminum Poisoning. Interesting to think about? I think so. Forgetfulness, Chronic Sinus Problems, Dry Mouth, Muscle Weakness, Bone Pain, Altered Mental Status, Bone easily fractured, Anemia, Immunity impairment, Growth Retardation in Children, headaches, and others.

I bolded the ones that I've had. And who knows about the Growth Retardation .. I am only 61 inches tall. Maybe I could have been taller ...

What causes this?

Tough to say what caused it in my case, but Aluminum is one of those that just builds up with every use. Antiperspirants can cause Aluminum poisoning. So can other home products that contain Aluminum (like pots & pans, anti-dandruff shampoo, toothpaste, city water, utensils that contain aluminum). Some Vaccines have Aluminum and what's worse ... for me ... Cheese! Some Cheeses contain Aluminum.

Can ya'll hear me screaming from your computer? You should.

What will I do about this?

I'm not really sure yet. I've had two chelations now. I will find out more on Saturday at my Appointment.

Celebration Part 2

My PICC Line is being removed on Saturday February 7, 2009.

May "she" rest in peace. She has treated me well for the most part and helped me from getting stuck 15 times a week (2 or 3 treatments a week times the 6 times it would have taken to get an IV started).

Born: July 17, 2008
Removal/Death: February 7, 2009

Youtube removed video on Youtube! SO no more "Celebration" song. Sorry guys.

Inspirational Thursday

Another of my favorite songs.

Post Picc Line

A huge hint about the Celebration post!

I've been contemplating what all I want to do when I get my PICC line removed. There are so many things that I decided to make a list. Though I don't need a reason to make a list. I'm a list maker by nature.

1. Take a nice long shower without a picc line cover
2. Find a hot tub somewhere and enjoy it.
3. Swim in a pool.
4. Go Bowling.
5. Walk on the beach
6. Go to a Winterguard show! :o)
7. Spin a rifle. (Okay maybe not .. but it would be fun.)
8. Hug my friends without fear of being hurt
9. Sleep on my right side without hurting

Let's Celebrate!

There is reason to CELEBRATE!!! Stay Tuned for more information ...

Celebrate good times, come on
(Let's celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on
(Let's celebrate)

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times
And your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

(Celebration)
Let's all celebrate and have a good time
(Celebration)
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

It's time to come together
It's up to you
What's your pleasure

Everyone around the world
Come on

(Yahoo) It's a celebration
(Yahoo)

Celebrate good times, come on
It's a celebration
Celebrate good times, come on
Let's celebrate

We're gonna have a good time tonight
Let's celebrate, it's all right
We're gonna have a good time tonight
Let's celebrate, it's all right

Baby

We're gonna have a good time tonight
(Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let's celebrate, it's all right
We're gonna have a good time tonight
(Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let's celebrate, it's all right

(Yahoo)
(Yahoo)

Celebrate good times, come on
(Let's celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on
It's a celebration
Celebrate good times, come on
(Let's celebrate)

(Ad lib)

Come on and celebrate, good times, tonight
(Celebrate good times, come on)
'Cause everything's gonna be all right
Let's celebrate
(Celebrate good times, come on)
(Let's celebrate)...

Pig's Flying twice

Monday the weather forecaster said "snow" was predicted for Tuesday & Wednesday morning. Being the "realist" I am, I said "No way it will do this twice in one year." However in a small way, I hoped that Murphy would work with me here .. :)

I said all day Monday ... if it does SNOW, it will be a few flakes. Well Tuesday morning came and went and yes .. it was a few flakes. Well yesterday everyone at work was a buzz. "It's going to snow. It's going to snow." Well again I said "Well maybe a few flakes more, but I doubt it will even cover anything."

I woke up this morning ... TO SNOW!! Okay so it barely covered anything, but I did have to do a good bit of dusting to my car.

Hopefully it won't prove deceiving on the roads because I'm off to work!

So Angry

This post is probably not going to be very coherent and very long and for that I apologize in advance.

For most Chronic Lyme Patients finding the answers to their medical condition is often years in the making. I'd say more times than not .... it takes a person saying "Oh have you ever thought you might could have Lyme Disease?" OR "I heard about this doctor that can figure out what anyone has." OR "Your symptoms sound suspiciously like mine before I was diagnosed. I have Lyme Disease." OR "I know this person that was as sick as you are now. They have Lyme." OR something similar.

I got the "Did you ever think it could be Lyme Disease? I am being treated for it and you should check it out. You have a lot of symptoms that are on the Lyme Disease check list." So then I checked it out and got in touch with the Lyme Disease Foundation that forwarded me to an appropriate Lyme Literate Medical Doctor (my particular physician also specializes in other things such as Heavy Metal Toxicity & Nutritional Deficiencies & other things so I knew he wouldn't have "Lyme Blinders" on and only assume that I had Lyme Disease).

Integrative Medical physicians are often under attack by their medical boards ... whether those medical boards are in North Carolina or other states. I know of several physicians (even those that treat other things than Lyme Disease) in North Carolina that are under investigation. In fact not so long ago, we had one physician that did treat Lyme (as well as AIDS/HIV) that moved from NC to SC because the NC medical board put so many restrictions on him that he was unable to practice the way he needed to in order to help his Lyme patients improve.

I have also gotten wind that another physician has closed practice in NC because of the same thing. This physician did not have enough financial funds to move his practice to another state and he was also a bit older than the first Lyme Doctor. This 2nd doctor may or may not be a Lyme Physician. I just know that his office recently closed because my doctor's office got some of his supplies.

Other states are having the same issues. I also found out that another physician decided to close his doors and most recently today ... I found out that a physician in Maryland was recommended by his lawyer to stop treating all his Lyme patients because FIVE cases were currently under review by the Maryland Medical Board. If they prove that he isn't treating the way that Infectious Disease Society says he should treat Lyme Disease, he could have his medical license revoked. The thing is that that particular group of people do not believe that Chronic Lyme Disease exists. They believe that Lyme is "cured" after only 60 days of antibiotics at the most.

Now I have been in treatment since February/March of 2007. That is way longer than 60 days ... I can not imagine how sick I would be had my antibiotic regimen been cut off at 60 days. No doubt in my mind, I would be in a wheelchair or a coffin by now had my LLMD decided that May of 07 that I was "cured."

It scares me to think that my doctor is under the radar of the North Carolina Medical Board. I know he's been under suspicion before for not treating the "standard of care" for other things. Because of that, I have to sign a paper everytime I go in saying that I want treatment. I know my physician doesn't do the things by IDSA's "standard of care." That is MY CHOICE! I do not want the "standard of care." That "Standard of Care" got me no where for 12 years. And now that "Standard of Care" is going to cause a man who spends more time caring about his patients more than probably his own family ... to jeopardize his medical license.

This angers me more than I can even coherently write!!!

What can you do?

1. If you're in North Carolina: Go to this website and join the fight for our North Carolina Integrative Medical Physicians.

2. If you're a Lyme patient or know about a Lyme patient, go to this physician's blog. Support him by writing letters and calling! Who knows some of you might even be seeing this LLMD yourself ... or have considered seeing him ... His practice is in danger! His patients are in danger. Please help him!

3. Another for NCer's ... Go to this website and email them if you have an ELISA and Western Blot test that is CDC positive after January 1st of 2008. Just recently, North Carolina has declared that if TWO people in a county have these two tests as CDC positive ... they will declare it an endemic area for Lyme Disease. Please please please ... email them with your stories from North Carolina so they can determine whether you would help meet this criterion. In order to improve the quality of life for those with Lyme Disease it is vital that we get as many counties in North Carolina deemed "endemic" as possible. Only then will the IDSA realize that there is Chronic Lyme Disease!!!!!

Thank you for your time and hopefully I made myself as coherent as possible. This message and this blog would NOT have been possible had I received "standard of care" treatment in North Carolina.

Mandy from Under Our Skin would not be ALIVE if it had been for "standard of care" treatment. Please I beg of you ... don't let my friends die because of idiotic infectious disease doctors and medical board drama. Don't let our doctors go under because of lack of knowledge by the medical board & infectious disease doctors. Scroll back up if you have to and see how you can help.

Go Visit Charlie!

Updated with Links included:

Charlie is a beautiful little boy with HLHS. It's a condition where he was born missing the left side of his heart. He loves to see the little red dots pop up on his Cluster Map. Well his "year" anniversary of the cluster map happened and all his red dots disappeared. Would all you go visit him so he can get his red dots back?

Make a comment and that will make his day brighter. Though to see the smile on his face, I don't see how he could get any brighter! Tell him Jennifer from North Carolina sent ya!

I'm not even sure how I found him, but my friend Patience had a son born with the same condition. Unfortunately with other complications, Issac passed away 5 months after he was born. I am pleased to announce that Patience has recently informed everyone that she is now pregnant with a little girl.

This afternoon, I will post links in here with the links to Isaac & "Baby girl Leino" websites.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week has not been a doozy at all. I absolutely did NOT run up and down my street to catch the DHL delivery person to send my Urine off to the lab. I did NOT go off on him and explain the urgency of my package arriving on time due to the bodily fluids that the package contained. I did NOT tell him that if it did not arrive in time, he would be personally responsible for paying $154.00 for me to have a second treatment and another $60.00 for the test to be re-run. I was NOT flattered in any way when he told me he thought I was a 12 year old kid running around the yard the day before I turned 33.

On Wednesday, I absolutely was not stressed out in any way to go to my best friend's new apartment. Under no circumstances would I have to sit in my car for over 30 minutes before being removed from the car by my friend over anxiety from the drive. I was not embarrased in any way to have to call my husband to convince me to get out of the car before further embarrassing myself to call my friend to have him come down to get me! Not me, never, absolutely not. :O

On Thursday, I absolutely did not eat a huge canister of cheese balls in one sitting. That would be absolutely horrible for my body and since I am so health conscious, I would never consider doing that. You know what else I didn't do? I didn't spend all Thursday afternoon talking to one of my blog readers about Lyme Disease and the inaccuracies of the Western Blot & Elisa test. I didn't send her a whole email of Lyme doctors in her area just in case she wanted to get a 2nd opinion on her illness actually being Lyme Disease instead. :-}

On Friday, I did not do something spontaneous and go out to eat with an old friend

um .. correction ... pain in the ass of mine. I most certainly did not jump at the chance to drive somewhere and eat dinner breakfast food for dinner. We did not reminisce about band & guard and did not spontaneous bust out into "Oh Yeah" from the Twix Commercial because it was a winterguard tune.

On Saturday, I did not laugh so hard in Target that I almost peed in my britches. Speaking of britches, you know I did not purchase a pair of britches off the 75 percent rack because they were the cause of said laughter. Then I most definitely did not go around to find a shirt that would match the britches for my Halloween costume this year because it would so be the perfect 1980's outfit. I also did not pull out my camera in the middle of the store to take a picture of pink sweatpants. Those that know me in person from HS know that my "style" was sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt ~ nothing more and nothing less. My husband and I did not have a grand time taking pictures of me in said Shiny Gold Pants & Off white/gold shirt. Here is NO PROOF whatsoever of me doing the silliness. I know I know: 1987 called and they want their pants back.


One last thing that did not happen on Saturday. My husband was certainly not referred to as "Dad" when we were checking out at Target. I did not slap him on the back and say "yeah Dad" and snort at the same time. The check out woman did not say "Husband?" with a very confused look in her eye and when I said "I'm actually 33" .. she did not and I repeat did not grab my hand and force me to look at the customer in line behind us. She did not say "can you believe she's 33?" She then did not say "You Go Boy" to my husband as we were walking away from the cash register. I did not tease him the rest of the day. :o) Dad Dad Daddio.

Laughter Heals

Here is a small clue about the hilarity that ensued for one of my "Not Me Mondays." When 2007 turned into 2008, I promised myself that I would smile every day and make one other person smile as well. Laughter counted for the "Smile" because can you laugh without a smile? Well on Saturday January 31st, I laughed so hard that it make others look. Of course in turn they tried to look away, but started laughing a bit when they saw what I had in my hands. You'll have to wait until tomorrow for the "full story" on the funniness, but here is a partial view of one of the many pictures my husband took once we brought home the item that caused a melt down of laughter in Target. I am still laughing just thinking about it! :o) Can you guess what they are? AND MISSY .. NO GUESSING FOR YOU. You've heard the story & seen the pictures! :o) If I've told you the story ... don't guess. that wouldn't be fair to my 15 readers that don't get to talk to me on a daily basis. :o) You can click on it to make it a tiny bit bigger.

6 Truths of Life

Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.











2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.


3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.


4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.


5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.


6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.



I apologize about this .

I'm an idiot and I needed company.

My Lyme posts

Welcome to any new readers that are interested in learning about Lyme Disease. I may bump some important Lyme posts that I have written, but in the mean time most of my Lyme posts are listed in September of 2008. I have a few health related topics scattered in the other months, but I wrote most of my Lyme related things in September.

Remember: A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. I welcome all my new friends. Old friends with Lyme ... if you see a comment that I haven't gotten to yet that questions about Lyme ... can you help me by commenting. :) Thanks

My birthday surprise

I said on my birthday I would write later in the day to tell about my day, but I got busy with my wonderful husband. I was 10 minutes from work when I got a phone call. Could I come back because I had a package that was delivered? When I got there, I saw this:

And then I saw this:



And then I saw this:





And only after I saw the whole picture:


I saw THESE:


How awesome is my husband!

We met at T.G.I.F for my favorite appetizer: Mozzarella Cheese Sticks. My favorite entre: Chicken Tenders & Fries and my favorite dessert: Cheesecake. However, the cheesecake had to wait because I was stuffed from the first two C items! So I enjoyed the cheesecake last night.

I had a wonderful birthday. (keep scrolling: inspirational Thursday has been posted)

Inspirational Thursday

When I was at my sickest, I would listen to this song. It has the amazing ability to make me feel better emotionally. So I present this Inspirational Thursday ~ With the song: I am Yours!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

:D That's all I got to say about that!

And yesterday I *ran* up and down the yard trying to get the Delivery guy to pay attention to me. He was supposed to come before 5pm to pick up a Medical package and he missed the driveway 3 or 4 times. So on my last day of being 32 I was running around in the yard.

Of course I felt extremely flattered when he said he thought I was a 12 year old kid running in the yard!

I'll update this later with some fun facts about what I did today!

I GOT A READER FROM AUSTRALIA! :o) :o) That little red dot made my DAY!

Come out Come out

Wherever you are!

I see that I have visitors from all over the US, some from Canada, some from the UK, and Norway (though HI: WAVE: to Lucy .. I think you're the one viewing from Norway)

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.




I absolutely did not get in a panic when I woke up to snow on Tuesday morning. I also did not worry that I wouldn't make it to work on my 1/2 tank a gas when I did not fill up my gas tank the day before when the weather men talked about the Arctic Blast that would give us 2 to 4 inches of snow because I truly did NOT believe them. They are actually saying that it will NOT do any wintery precipitation on my birthday (tomorrow).

I did not get upset when my boss has me scheduled for a potentially long day on my birthday which I have not shamelessly plugged all week on facebook.

This next thing may not be a bit TMI coming up:

I did not wear gloves when I did not have to pee in a cup for 6 hours. I did not consider getting in the tub to pee in the urine sample container upon worrying about whether I could actually hit the cup. I did not have to pour urine from the sample container into a huge orange jug. I did not get grossed out when I had to put said pee jug into the fridge next to the cucumbers so that the urine would not go bad before shipping. I did not leave the original pee cup out beside my husband's toothbrush just to make him change his toothbrush head on the electronic toothbrush. ;-)

I absolutely did not have to store a small vial of my own urine in the fridge on Saturday and Sunday for DHL to pick up on Monday. I most definitely did not consider leaving the vial of urine in a huge trashcan outside the house. And last but not least, I could never ask my mother in law to come over and sit with my box that contained the vial of urine waiting for the DHL delivery person.

I did not (see I told you that last thing was NOT the last thing) eat a huge pizza & a slice of cheesecake at the cheesecake factory in one sitting. I was not full at the end of my meal. ;)

Tune in next week when I tell you what all I did not do on my birthday! (which is NOT tomorrow)


Oh one more NOT ME that I forgot. I absolutely do not have the Christmas Village up on my Fire Place Mantle on January 26th. Not me.

Jennifer's Lyme Life

**Updated** May 8, 2009
For those of you that are just learning about my Journey, go to these old blogs to see how far I've come.

My Diagnosis
My Therapy
A day in the life of a treatment
My PICC Line Story Part 1
My PICC Line Story Part 2
Grey's PICC Line Story
November 15, 2008 Update
Mercury Toxicity (My Mercury test came back negative)
Aluminum Toxicity
PICC Line Removal
Two weeks post PICC
Two year anniversary plus supplements
March 15, 2009 Update
Post PICC Pics
Conflicted Lymie
CDC Positive Test Results
Ups and down of Lyme

There ya go. The most important health blogs all in one place! Enjoy reading if you've not read them before.

Coach Kay Yow

The head coach of NC State women's basketball team passed away this morning after battling breast cancer. She has been fighting it since 1987 and she was a hero to many. She entered the hospital last week shortly after announcing that she would not be coaching this season because of the severity of her cancer.

Many people will be in mourning. Not only the people that know of Coach Yow, but people who have lost their own families to breast cancer.

Check out this on WRAL's website to find out more about Coach Yow and how much she meant to NC state. Take this time to remind the people you love about how much you love them because you never know when your or their time is up. Only God is in control of that. Also this is a good time to remember Organ Donation & Blood Donation. Tell people your wishes so that in the event of your death, your organs can be used to live on in the life of another.

Chelation Challenge.

Tomorrow I have the Chelation Challenge.

I'm sure everything will come out just fine, but please pray that it goes quickly and that all my test results come back in normal range. I try to be strong and patient, but I am tired of this PICC Line and am ready for some normalcy (whatever that is).

I know it's all in God's time and I will be patient should I need to keep the PICC Line in for longer. However, it would be nice to know that the end of this PICC Line is in sight (like February maybe) and not have another kind of treatment on top of the maintenance part of Lyme Therapy.

Inspirational Thursday

I have decided the next few Thursdays .. I will declare Inspirational Thursday.

One of my favorite hymns. It gives me strength whenever I sing it.

And then:
It is well with my soul.

Time Machines

Let us suppose for a moment that time travel really were possible. Let's also suppose that going back in time would not alter our lives in a bad way. I've been thinking about this for a few years actually because I have been thinking if I were able to go back in time ... how much better would my life had been if I had known all along that Lyme Disease was the problem?

Suppose I could have gone back to tell the 1988 version of myself that leaving my friends and moving to a new city would not be the end of the world. What if I could have told that scared version of myself that I would find new and wonderful friends in this new place and that those people would change the course of my future. I would find a beautiful place to call home and make memories that would last a life time. I would meet my future husband all because of this one move.

What if I could have gone back to the 1993 version of myself and told me that I needed to stand up more for what I believed in and tell people exactly what I thought of them. I mean really. What if I had just said "Look I just don't like you. You are not very nice and I don't appreciate it." What is the worst thing that could have happened? OR on the flip side ... What if I had gathered up enough nerve to tell a friend that I liked him more than just a friend? What if I had told myself that the one guy that I chose to chase wasn't worth it and that I would never ever get him in the end? I wish I could have had a little spinner out of game with the right guy's names on it that I could have spun in HS. At least then my chance of decent guys would have been better than the guys I actually dated. Some of them were real "winners" and not in a good way either.


I mean suppose I could go back to the 1995 version of myself when I found the tick behind my ear and educated myself on Lyme Disease and tick borne illnesses. Suppose if I could have know immediately that the little tiny tick would cause all of my ailments in the future. Would it have prevented any of my surgeries? Would I have spent countless nights getting sick or prevented overnight stays in the hospital?


What if I could have gone back to the 1997 version of myself where I just wasn't quite sure who I was or even who I wanted to be with. What if I could have just told myself that I did not need to be with anyone at all or that I could choose more than one person at one time and that would not be a wrong thing to do? Or even that the one person that you think just tolerates you actually likes you a lot. I wish I could go back to that version of myself. I think that's when I would have listened to the future me. 1997 is the year of change. If I could go back to one year and one year alone, it would be 1997.

Who knows how I would have turned out. I truly believe that I probably would have wound up right in the same position I am now. A beautiful strong woman that loves her family and friends with a few regrets, but knowing that all the missteps that I made in the past make me who I am today.

Amazing Day of Snow

3 posts one day. Please be sure to scroll down to see the other pictures. I know for those of you up in Northern United States and in Canada that this is not unusual. However, this is extremely unusual for us so I take LOTS of pictures.

I wound up not working today at all. My boss said she would call if she needed me and she never called and then the work place closed early. So it was a blessing. Tomorrow we get a two hour delay.

Here is a picture out the window of my husband's truck as we were out and about to see how bad the roads are today.



We stopped by a place to eat on the way and this was one of the views we saw. :o)


And here is ME ecstatic in the snow! I was jumping for joy. I am glad I did not fall! Yes I know I am bundled up big time, but I don't do cold really well. It makes me very sick. I will probably be extremely sick next week just because I was out in this beautiful mess. Who cares today though .. I saw pretty snow & ate Snow Cream! :D