Saturday, March 31, 2012

Home Hunting

Thirteen years ago, we bought a home. This home has done us well, but when our best friends in the neighborhood moved out of the neighborhood staying didn't seem nearly as important. But because I don't like change, we have stayed. We began our discussion years ago, but recently we've taken our talks up a notch. Last weekend we drove around a few subdivisions and in a spur of a moment decision, we walked into an "Open House."

We opened the front door and as soon as I walked in I felt as if I were home already. This was not something I expected. I expected to not like something structurally with the home, whether it was closet space or room size or where the master bedroom was located or ... something. I looked to the right and saw a space I could use for a Lyme advocacy office, a space located right at the front of the house with easy access to friends who might have wheelchairs.

I looked to the left and saw the formal dining area with wooden floors, a really cool ceiling and bead board that I absolutely love. I walked through to the kitchen and saw the dark cabinets which I adore and the only thing at this point that I could live with, but not in love with were the appliances in stainless steel. I continued my walk when I saw the sun room. It was awesome with french doors. Then to the left a laundry room (an actual ROOM and not just a space in the wall for a washer and dryer). Then the master bedroom, master bath and HUGE closet. I was smiling at the huge tub and at this point I was sold. There was a great great room, a screened porch and then that's just the downstairs. I absolutely loved the upstairs space too.

We are trying our best to get things in order to be able to place an offer on the house. I'm excited for this change, but trying not to get too excited in case we wind up not being able to get the home. We found an option today that would enable us to get the home, but things have to line up just right. We know that if it's God's will, it will happen. So we pray that God's will is lined up with what we think our needs are.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Dependable Jennifer

I always pride myself on doing the right thing. I am dependable. Someone needs me, I am there. No matter how badly I feel. I feel that it is one of my best attributes and my biggest weakness. So on Monday, there was a huge shock wave and I was asked to come to the rescue. I did. I will.

A friend of mine had a baby on Monday. It was a surprise to everyone. So the week where I should have only worked 3 hours, I worked about 14 hours. Next week, where I really just wanted to rest and relax and maybe clean a little house ---- I am scheduled to work over 18 hours. While this may not sound like a lot, it IS a lot for me right now.

Yesterday, I went to hang out with my best friend and very shortly after I arrived I had to leave. I couldn't keep my eyes open and my body was aching in great pain. I slept last night for 11 hours (without Melatonin) and woke up fatigued (after a b12 shot last night) and in pain. I was crushed. I have today, tomorrow and the following day to get it together before I have two very full days. I also have a lot of work to do for college.

Like I said, my best attribute and my biggest weakness. It's hard for me to say no when someone needs me and even worse it's hard for me to ask when I need something in return.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Here we go again (IV's)

My IV lady is so good that she has never missed my veins --- UNTIL TODAY. She stuck in the needle and my vein blew. The pain didn't bother me, but the wave of emotions came over me and I cried. The second try on the right wrist was good, but it did cause pain. I'll probably wind up with bruises in both spots. One is already bruising and the other may or may not.

We'll see how it goes. I got my IV (2 hours and 45 minutes today) and I did 60 minutes of HBOT. I almost peed on myself in the machine because of all the fluids. Yeah, fun stuff.

P.S. I have a fever. :-(

Checking the "ole" Cortisol

Today is a big day for me. We're checking to see if my Cortisol level has improved after being on Cortef the last little while (4 full weeks and a couple of days). I still feel like I'm dragging in the morning and my body hurts. I used to roll out of bed get dressed and be wide awake. Now I drag. Here I am a full hour after I woke initially and my eye lids barely open. It took me 25 minutes to get out of bed after my eyes open. Typically if I wake before my alarm goes off, I roll out of bed immediately. If my alarm goes off before I wake, then I typically snooze one time (which is 8 minutes) and then roll out of bed. So I'm not sure how much good this Cortef has done. We'll see in a week or two. Blood is today and so is an IV.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Proud friend

Not too long after I got married, I began to work in retail. On my very first day, I began a friendship. This friendship grew and her family would come into the store to shop. Her little brother was one of those kids that just oozed with confidence. In fact, it was a step above confidence. It was cockiness. It was annoying yet in a small way endearing. As time passed and I left that job, I continued my friendship with the family. They really are like another family to me. I know if I needed anything at all that they would be there for me as I have tried my best to be there for them. I have been to wedding showers, weddings and funerals. I have seen their job and their sadness. They've seen my joy and my struggles.

In the last ten years, I have watched this kid grew up in more ways than one and not too long ago he fell in love. It was one of those love at first sight moments. As soon as he saw her, he knew she was meant for him. They dated shortly and he proposed. Today, I celebrated with his family as their wedding date comes near. I had such a good time hanging out with my friend, her little brother who has in time become a friend of mine and meeting his beautiful fiance. I'm such a proud friend to watch this "kid" grow into a man.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Day for Firsts

I had no idea yesterday that when I woke up it would be a day of firsts, but was it indeed. I almost felt like a kid again, minus all the headaches, muscle twitches, joint and muscle pain that accompanies Lyme Disease.

It was the first time I saw a friend from High School at his home.
It was the first time I met his littlest daughter, who is so adorable in every way. Seriously, so cute.

It was the second time I met his wife and oldest daughter. Humor and rule maker describe this little one. Honestly 4 to 6 year olds are my favorite, his kid --- humorous and enabled me to have a few firsts of her own.

First, she wanted to show me her trampoline. Then, she wanted me to jump on it. Now I could have pulled some lame excuse about how I was too old for that kind of thing, but when a six year old girl asks you to do something fun .... well you kind of just hike up your bootstraps and do it anyways. So I crawled up into the trampoline and nearly fell over just standing on the thing, but we began to bounce. With each bounce, I got more tired. My heart rate accelerated, but I kept at it anyways. I realized with each bounce that I had bounced more on a trampoline in that moment that I had in my entire life combined. I'm *not* a get on something bouncy and jump and down kind of person, not even when I was a kid did this thought enthuse me.

Well, she got down for a minute and I fell flat on my face and just laid there. I was exhausted, but when I rolled over and saw the sky. I realized I was having a "first" moment. It was the first time ever I had laid down on a trampoline and saw the sky. Finally, I crawled out of the trampoline and barely made it to the picnic table. Then this same little 6 year old encouraged me to lay down on a hammock to get rested. Now again, I could have easily said no. In fact, I did say no. But, peer pressure by a six year old? You try to get out of it.

So while she steadily held the hammock, I laid down. I felt like I was going to fall out the entire time and I had a watching audience. Not only was the 6 year old watching me intently, my high school friend was just waiting for me to roll off so he could laugh at me hysterically (which would NOT have been a first, said friend laughing AT me). After about 3 minutes of barely hanging out for dear life (oh it's oh so dramatic you know), I rolled out on purpose barely landing on my feet and realized I had another first.

Then, the greatest first of all happened. My friend and I left to go do something. We never know what we'll do. We never really plan. We just go and do. His wife tried to plan us stuff, but we kept saying no to all of that. Yeah like I *really* want another first at Frankie's Fun House! Uh thanks but no thanks! She stayed behind with the kids and we left for mysterious funness.

Since we were close, he said that I had to see this place I had never heard of. Well why not? So we went to this place right here, I kept being asked if I wanted cheese or chocolate. And I kept saying no because if I had one piece I would want two and if I had two pieces Id want four. It would keep growing exponentially. So I kept saying no thanks. Then we went to the Carolina Roses. No joke this Roses was 1/4 of Carolina stuff. It was AWESOME! They had socks and purses and shirts and blankets and dog clothes and everything you could ever think of. I could have wasted good money in there!

One thing you must know is that my friend and I are HUGE Tar Heel fans. We had watched the game together earlier and were amped up on the win. So, where does one go when amped up on a Carolina win? Well .... CAROLINA OF COURSE! Although, it was a another first for me; to be on campus after a win and not have been there for the game or for concession working. So, we left Southern Season and Roses and drove to FRANKLIN STREET!

To top it off, we ate at Top of the Hill. This restaurant kind of hovers over the street and while I am not much of a "new restaurant" go-er because I'm so picky about what I eat, we went in with smiles on our faces. I scourged the menu to find something I could eat and settled on a plain burger with cheddar cheese. Then I got drunk on beer fries. I'm totally KIDDING about the drunk part, but it was indeed the first time I had ever eaten beer fries. Every 2 or 3 minutes, I'd start grinning for no reason. BUT, there was a reason. I was sitting at Top of the Hill Restaurant eating burgers and fries overlooking Franklin Street right at sun down. It was beautiful and fun and I was with one of my friends from High School. Seriously who was this person?

Later I had commented that I had never walked all the way down Franklin street, so guess what we did? We walked all the way down Franklin Street. With only a few moments of I just had to sit, I made it all the way down and back without having to ride piggy back, having my hand grabbed onto and pulled or just being carried. On our way back, we saw a woman that looked like a hooker. Right after we passed her, we saw 3 cops running into a Subway very quickly with another two cops siren their way in later. We thought at first they were going in for her, but they weren't. We didn't want to stick around regardless. We pretty much ran back to the car, minus the actual running part. Though wouldn't it have been funny to see me and a friend running for dear life on Franklin Street? Oh if I had had the energy I might have done it anyways. It would have been a first! Maybe next time. Besides, it was getting pretty dark at this point and it was hard to see the beautiful aspects of the campus (which I *have* seen).

We were walking back to the car when we found out his little one had a fever, so we had to get back so he could help out. And of course since I was at his house with his little one with the fever before she got the fever, I'll probably wind up with a fever too. Well, I don't know it may have been well worth it this great day of firsts with or without Lyme. I don't want to forget it so I thought I'd document. The bad part of my Lyme is that sometimes I forget things. So this blog helps remind me later when I forget * especially since I didn't bring my camera and had no pictures taken of this amazing day -- never fails, I do something fun without my camera.

My friend saves the day with a pic: The view from Top of the Hill.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Theodor Seuss Geisel, otherwise known to the world as Dr. Seuss.

This quote by Dr. Seuss is SO me. I'll be honest. For a while, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.

My quirkiness bothered me
so I hid my personality.
I hid it deep down so well.
So well in fact, no one could tell.

And then one day I realized this fact
that my shyness was indeed an act
I realized that Dr. Seuss was quite right
when he said it quite loudly on one fateful night.

"Today you are you
That is truer than true
There is no one alive
who is youer than you."

Indeed I have come out of my shell
Dressing like the cat in the hat minus a tail.
I carried a platter filled to the brim
green eggs and ham to show all of them.

I had the best day I've had in a while
and the kids faces were covered in smiles.
It was in this moment I remembered it's true
there is no one alive that's youer than you.

*written by Jennifer inspired by Dr. Seuss*

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Five Years

Five years ago today, I was given hope.

Five years ago today, I was given answers.

Five years ago today, I was finally told that someone knew what I had.

Five years ago today, I was told that it would be a long road to recovery.

Five years ago today, I was told that it would take two years for my test to turn positive.

Four years ago today, I still struggled on antibiotics.

A little over three years ago today, I had a picc line.

Three years ago, my test turned positive.

Two years ago, I turned the tide and slipped quietly into remission.

One year ago, I started quietly fighting the Lyme fight again.

And here I stand today, side by side with my LLMD smiling because I know that five years ago he was right. I have Lyme and it's written all over my forehead!