Monday, February 21, 2011

Sensory Overload

Sometimes I have days where every little thing irritates me. Every night I pretty much have the same routine. Between 7pm and 8pm, I crawl into bed and play a CD that helps me relax and fall asleep. We have the room darker than a cave for most people's standards, but for me some nights ... it just isn't dark enough. The little red light on the TV when it's powered off might as well be a flashlight. I already have black tape covering the time on the clock, but the light that glows behind it ... might as well not even have it covered. I use an electronic toothbrush. I can't charge it at night because the glow is way too bright. Now on most nights I can ignore these little "lights." (this doesn't even talk about the sound that the TV makes when it's not on or the computers from the other room or the cars and dogs that are outside making noise that live down the street). Last night on the other hand. All these little things kept me from going to sleep. Sensory Overload.

I played my CD 3 times before giving up and getting up. Then I was up for an hour before laying back down for the CD to play twice before I just turned on the television set. Then I played it one final time and finally fell asleep sometime between 4 and 4:15. I fell asleep after 4am, but before 4:15am. My alarm goes off at 5am. 45 minutes of sleep I figure with waking once during that time to think "good I finally fell asleep."

Hopefully I can function today.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Closet Update

Photo taken today. It's still clean! :o)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Closet

So in January (9th and 10th), I cleaned and organized the closet. I took photographs and posted. Once the batteries in my camera recharge, I'll post a picture of the state of the closet now. But first, who thinks it's still clean 37 days later?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Losing Friends

Today my heart sank to my stomach. I woke up to see a friend's status on Facebook. My heart sank a little bit for her. I saw that she lost a friend to lung cancer. I saw the first name of her friend and prayed that it wasn't a friend of mine from many years ago. I went onto work. I didn't think about it again. Then my boss called me into the office as I was leaving. The words stung my heart and pierced my soul.

"Pam (removed last name) passed away last night. " I felt the lump form in my throat. It was all I could do to hold the tears back. The only thing that made this loss different from our last friend that went to Heaven was that her family had preparation. Her family knew this was coming. A loss of a friend/family member when you know is difficult, but along the journey of the rest of their life you mourn.

My heart aches for my friend's family. My heart aches for her beautiful daughters, her husband of 32 years and anyone that ever crossed her path. Forgive me if I'm quiet. I tend to retreat when I mourn.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Move that Rubber Tree Plant

I am

I was talking with a new friend last night. It got me to thinking about all the things I am. I often wonder about people's first impression about me and about my own first impressions about others. Let's face the cold hard truth that when we meet people we try to put our best foot forward. We try to offer all the best parts of ourselves to them and peel back the layers of ourselves a little bit at a time.

There are many things that we can learn just based on LOOKING at a person and then there are things we learn by LISTENING. Then there are things we think we know by ASSUMING.

If I show you these two photographs ... what might you assume?

Assumption: Lover of outdoors
Fact: 15 minutes outside is 15 minutes too long.

Who am I? By my choosing, I am several things. I am Christian. I am a wife and friend. I am a teacher. I am a college graduate. These are things I chose to do. Then there are things that I am that I have no control over. I am proud just the same, but they weren't under my control. They were things I was born into. I am a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece. There are so many other things that I am.

But there is one more thing that affects my daily life, but it is not who I am ... it is what I have. It took me years to say it comfortably. If you're just beginning your journey, it may take you a while too. However one day, you too will be able to say "I have Lyme Disease." It will roll off your tongue like "My name is Jennifer." As my new friend and I discussed last night, it's almost like an AA meeting. "Hi My name is Jennifer and I have Lyme Disease."