Sunday, October 31, 2010

Polar Opposite

I'm strong or weak.
I'm happy or sad.
I'm patient or frustrated.
I'm healthy or sick.
I'm energized or exhausted.

I can or I can't.
There is no middle ground.
There is no in between.
There is no grey.
It's just black or white.

Mentally and physically I'm wiped out.
Friends are upset because I changed plans.
They just don't understand that
just because I was perfectly fine yesterday doesn't
mean I'm well today.

Case in point, last Saturday I was fine and
was making plans for this weekend.
This weekend I found myself getting
juiced up intravenously with Vitamin C
because by Wednesday I was sick.

I wasn't sick and then four days later, I was.
It isn't quite fair to others. And when
they fuss that I've postponed
it hurts me more than it hurts them.
How do I make them understand?

They just don't get it.
They won't get it.
They pretend they do,
but then act all hurt when
you say, "not today."

I'm strong or weak.
I'm happy or sad.
I'm patient or frustrated.
I'm healthy or sick.
I'm energized or exhausted.

I can or I can't.
There is no middle ground.
There is no in between.
There is no grey.
It's just black or white.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this
someone has got to understand.
Doctors have got to put a stop to the ignorance.
Stop misleading the public
that Lyme is easy to treat.

It's not. I'm living proof.
Here we are 15 years and 2 months later
I'm still struggling to
balance the line between
living a life and living a life with Lyme.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.
They all look different.
Yesterday was bad.
Today is okay, but
Tomorrow ....

I'm strong or weak.
I'm happy or sad.
I'm patient or frustrated.
I'm healthy or sick.
I'm energized or exhausted.

I can or I can't.
There is no middle ground.
There is no in between.
There is no grey.
It's just black or white.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Human Pin Cusion 2

My last post inspired me. It inspired me to do this:

and this:

Put it together and you got this:

Yesterday I told you I felt like a Pin Cushion. Well it inspired me. Between my ideas and my husband's genius ... we created my crazy red hat into a pin cushion hat! We turned Rob's white shirt into a "Jennifer the human pin cushion" t-shirt

It made me happy, see ...

You know what else made me happy?

Slick got me in one stick. :) I got my much needed IV today.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Human Pin Cushion

Sometimes I just feel like this

(photo courtesy of: Wikipedia)

I went to go get an IV today. It wasn't successful. I practically left in tears. Between the tourniquet that shouldn't have been used (b.c it was latex) and the pokes in veins that wouldn't accept the IV, I was extreme pain three hours after I walked in. Three hours that I won't get back. In fact, I have to go do this all over again tomorrow. I've decided that two hours is all they get. If they can't get it in two hours, I'll beg for antibiotics and be on my merry way.

It's been one of those days where I feel like ... I'm so tired. I'm tired of the effects of Lyme Disease. I feel like saying Why me .. but then I remember, "Why Not Me?" I think about how much more can I take and then I remember that I can do all things through Christ. I'm tired, but not done. I'll fight this fight. I maybe grumpy, but I'll continue to fight the best I know how. I'm just tired of feeling like a pin cushion.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Come on Immune System

My Immune System is like the Little Engine that Could. It's slowly kicking in and kicking butt too. I feel pretty good today. Low grade fever around lunch time and still have a low grade fever, but I only took Tylenol once today. Minimal sore throat and ear pain. The fatigue is crushing, but ... compared to yesterday I'm in Heaven. I will still be keeping my 10am IV appointment tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Immune Function


I do feel better this morning! My eyes aren't swollen (Yah God & Claritin). My fever is down to a typical person's temp (which is still high for me ... but I'll take it!). My throat isn't as on fire this morning. I'm hoping that my immune system is waking up saying, "Hey there's something here I'm supposed to be fighting" and actually getting the job done. Just to be on the safe side though, I"m taking Vitamin C, Tylenol & Claritin to work ... ya know just in case. :)

Original Post:

So there is something I have to be very cautious of. I have to watch out for large crowds and germs. Now as much fun as I had last week, I did do several things that were huge "uh ohs" for me. 1st: Crowd at the State Fair on a Sunday. 2nd: Thursday Night Work event in which I was in small place with lots of people. 3rd: Friday Night Vikings Kick Cancer Game 4th Saturday Marching Band Competition. Then Tuesday: I began helping out at another center with new teachers and new babies ..meaning new germs.

It only makes sense that I'd get sick. I'm feeling quite lousy. High Fever (for me) and sore throat. Not very lovely combination. IV on Friday. Pray for an easy stick.

** Added **

So apparently I've developed an allergy to Motrin. Sometimes I have "delayed" reactions to medications. So two hours after I took the Motrin (aka right now), my eye started itching. I just realized it's quite swollen. The good news is that my fever is down to a normal person's normal. I don't like to take OTC meds. I don't like how they make me feel (more or less most make me sleepy for 12 hours). So within 2 hours ... Motrin, Claritin (to help with the allergy) and .. now my Prescribed meds. I'm going to be conked out shortly .. miss my favorite show. :( I know. It's not the end of the world. But it is the one day a week I stay up until 9. That won't happen today.

Just pray for me regarding the Fever, Sore throat (and now add itchy eyes to that).

Monday, October 25, 2010

Vikings Kick Cancer

They are still calculating the fundraising total for Vikings Kick Cancer, but it was a total success. The competing high school raised almost 1,000 dollars and the feeding middle school brought in about 1,300 dollars. There are a group of tiny cheerleaders (I forget their official name) and they took around jars for cash. During the game, they raised 300 dollars. Who can say no to tiny cheerleaders asking for donations for Breast Cancer Research? Not me.

It was extremely hard to take photos since the game was held at night (obviously). Anyways, here are some photos from the 1st Annual Vikings Kick Cancer Football Game.

All of these are pre-game photos. It was a good hour before the game.

The Vikings wore Pink Jersey's.

The opposing team wore black jerseys and their numbers were outlined in pink. They also wore pink socks. Not the C on all their jerseys too.

These shirts were for sale to raise money for Breast Cancer Research and some people had their own special way to show off their "Pink." See "Twisdale" on the shirt. That was our beloved teacher.

Bunches of Pink Balloons walked by often to hand each individual a balloon or two for release at the start of the game.

Home Side of the game. :)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fair Fun(k)

So this morning we woke early to head to the North Carolina State Fair. We typically go every 4 years or so and we were just there last year. But, we had so much fun last year (taking photos and looking around) that we decided to go back this year. I found out there was a spot to park for free so that was a bonus too. We get into the fair grounds and I realize right away that our day was not going to be as fun as anticipated. I pulled out my camera to take a photo of something and wham ... I realized that my memory card was at home.

I tried not to really let this bother me, but the only reason I go to the fair is to take pictures and to eat food. :o So we decided to go ahead and get some breakfast. The "good" part of the breakfast was that our biscuit was HOT. We had to wait for quite some time to get our breakfast and the rest was just mediocre. We looked around to find vendors that might would sell memory cards and looked around. We even left the fairgrounds and walked across several roads to by one at the gas station, but .. they didn't have one either! :O I think I found a new vendor market for the Fair! Memory Card Vendor.

So we walked around the flowers and realized we were starting to get hungry. I *love* roasted corn so we walked that way only to realize that it was a cash only place. Guess who had no cash? So we went to the ATM to wait in line. We waited there about 10 minutes only to realize this nice fact: guess who left her purse in the car (on purpose mind you so that I wouldn't have to lug it around) and guess who didn't know the pin number for the ATM tied to my account?

Was I disappointed about the card? yes. Was I disappointed about the money? yes. But, the angry people walking around was starting to rub off. So we decided to leave. We ate at TGIF and came home. Oh well. Guess we won't be going back for a few years .... that and we'll carry an extra memory card in the camera case ... ;)

Here we go again

Can you guess we we are headed by this photo alone?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Vikings Kick Cancer

I wrote this about a week ago, October 22nd: My High School Alma Mater is having this HUGE big deal game! It's a "Vikings Kick Cancer" Football game! The team will wear Pink and will be raising money for Breast Cancer Research. About two years ago, we lost a beloved teacher to breast cancer. I think this has been in the works ever since. I'm sure there will lots of funds raised. As far as they know, this is only the 2nd high school in the country to do something like this. If you want to send donations to the school, leave a comment with your email address and I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can. Remember, I moderate all my comments so your email address will only be seen by me. I'll be posting about this again soon.

It's time for me to post about this. As you all know, October is Breast Cancer awareness month. Not only is my mother in law a Breast Cancer Survivor, I have a friend who is currently battling this disease. In addition to this, one of the teachers at my high school passed away from Breast Cancer about two years ago. While I didn't have her as one of my teachers, I saw her nearly every day. I'm sure there are others that I know that have or have had Breast Cancer, but those are the three that I think of when the words Breast Cancer come to mind.

Then there was my own potential scare. I don't remember what year, but I do remember the lump in my throat when I felt a lump in my breast. At the time, I wasn't a doctor visitor. I didn't spend a whole lot of time at the doctor because of my previous experiences with physicians. But, this lump caused me to take notice and run to the doctor. I thought she'd go, "Oh that's nothing," but she said "OOooh" and sent me to get an ultrasound. Again, I thought I'd get "Oh that is nothing," but they sent me to a surgeon. I thought the surgeon would say it was nothing, but then she decided the lump needed to be removed and biopsied. While we were at it, we had my birthmark removed as well. Prior to actually seeing both under the microscope, the surgeon thought that either could be cancerous. She even suggested that both could be and I could potentially have both Breast & Skin Cancer. Fortunately, my biopsies came back clear.

So I'd like to share with you about the Vikings Kick Cancer Football Game. The information straight from the school website is as follows:

South Granville High School in Creedmoor, NC is excited to host the Vikings Kick Cancer football game on October 22, 2010 in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This all-pink football game will take place during the regularly scheduled Friday night football game at S. Granville vs. Northwood. Game time is 7:30pm. Thanks to a generous donation from Regional Cancer Care, the Vikings will be playing the game in PINK jerseys! As far as we know, only one other high school football team IN THE NATION has ever done ANYTHING like this! This cause is near and dear to the South Granville Family. Our beloved teacher, Ms. Cynthia Twisdale lost her battle to breast cancer about 2 years ago. This year's Vikings Kick Cancer football game will be dedicated to her and all the people in our community that have been touched by this horrible disease. Proceeds will be donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

The students, staff, and Vikings community have many activities planned surrounding this game. Some include selling pink t-shirts throughout the season leading up to the game, encouraging spectators to wear pink to the game, releasing of pink balloons at kick-off in honor of those touched by cancer and much more.

In order for this event to be a success we would appreciate your support. If possible, we would love for you to consider doing a story about our event before the game to help us in getting the word out to the community at large. And, we'd also like to invite you to have a presence at our game that evening. For further information, please contact Jenny Hobgood (Vikings Kick Cancer Committee Chair) at ....

I removed Jenny's email and phone number, but feel free to contact me directly through comments and I'll be glad to give you the information to reach her. :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Guessing Game

So lemme get real for a mome.

I am actually petrified of doctors. Terrified even. I remember once going to the Optometrist and trying to hide in the closet. I don't know where my fear came from, but it was always there. Still is if I'm being honest with myself. Other than the actual fear of Optometrists (and any doctor really), I fear the actual picking out of my glasses. So in between 7th and 8th grade, I was pretty much forced to go and get new glasses. A: My parents made me (thanks a lot Mom) and B: I really was struggling to see out of my old pair of glasses. So we went and I picked out a pair. I tried them on and thought I loved them. I thought I loved them UNTIL I saw them. Then because I felt so tortured there, I refused to go back for years ... I mean YEARS. I don't think I went for 5 or 6 years.

Of course when I went, my prescription had changed again drastically. I had someone go with me that I trusted to help me pick out frames. The trip was better, but not great. Then I started dating my husband and we went in to pick out frames. The visit was also traumatic, but the frames were byfar the best I had ever had. They were actually children's frames, but they fit my face perfectly. They were the pair I wound up marrying him in.

Sooner or later, it was time to go back. I was getting headaches and I knew that was my personal sign from God that I needed to go. But I was terrified. Then one day a lady came into the store I worked. She was so kind. Then I found out she worked for an Optometrist office right in the area. For weeks I went by and finally found the courage to go in. We worked together to find some frames and then eventually scheduled an appointment to go see the doctor.

Eventually, they got this new machine that made the visits less traumatic and there was a really awesome doctor too. I also never felt pushed to do anything I didn't want to do. It was awesome. Then a few years ago, I went in and realized that I could use a camera to help me decide on frames. This was the biggest blessing. Sooooo with all that said, today I went in to pick out new frames. I'll be going back in November for my appointment. I wanted to make sure that part of the stress of the appointment was out of the way so I went in today with camera. Can you guess which pair I chose?

Guess which pair of glasses I ordered:

Option A: I call them Steve Urkel

Option B: I call these Drew Carey. Btw: I don't know if Cleveland OH Rocks, but Cleveland NC isn't half bad.

Option C: I call these Sally Jessie Raphael's Cousin.

Option D: I call these 1955 George McFly.

Option E: Purple & Gold!

The College Trip

I had the absolute best time this year! I decided at the very beginning that flexibility was going to be key in having a great time. I wasn't going to be a clock watcher or overly worried about things. The plan was to not really have a plan. For those of you that know me in life, know this is a very difficult task for me. Even when I was deciding to date my husband, I made a pro/con list! I'm a planner by nature. I think of all possible scenarios in my head and plan ahead.

I left about 9am and drove about 3 and 1/2 hours to my friend's place. We left immediately and went to where we would be staying. It was a nice little place where there were two bedrooms and two bathrooms. We each had our own private space. We headed back to the campus where we took our own mini walking tour. We walked by the part of campus where we "used" to eat. In it's place were two new dorms and a new cafeteria. Two years ago when I was last there, they were demolishing the dorms that were there and the cafeteria. It is so sad when a huge part of our lives is gone, but the buildings in their place are absolutely exquisite.

Here's a photo of the archway that connects the dorm on the right to the dorm on the left.

Afterwards, we took a quick walk by the building where we met though we didn't go in because we weren't sure if it was open. Then we headed onto the Wesley Foundation. For those of you not in the know, a Wesley Foundation is United Methodist campus ministry sponsored in full or in part (depending on the congregation) by the United Methodist Church on a non-church owned and operated campus. While we attended the Wesley Foundation, it was downstairs of the church. Since my last visit, they have added onto the United Methodist Church and the Wesley Foundation is now in the upstairs.

While I am not huge on change, this was absolutely beautiful. We always entered through the back of the church, but now the Wesley Foundation members can enter from the front of the church easily as it is now upstairs and there is a bridge connecting the foundation to the road. It's very nice. I failed to get a lot of photographs, but here is the backside of the church.

We spent quite a bit of time looking around. In the late 90's, if I wasn't in class, my room or the library, I was here sharing my love for Christ through socializing, singing and worshiping. It was the best part of my collegiate experience. It was in this place where I made close knit friends. Not only did I have great college friends, but there were adults there that guided us to make good choices during our college careers that represented Christ. Each student that wanted was partnered with couples at church. We became family. We were there for each other physically, emotionally and spiritually. I still talk to Kathy & Gene often.

Now I have often wondered if there were remnants of our lives there during our time at the Wesley Foundation. Seeing the addition to the church really made me wonder if our mark was left there. So we walked downstairs to go to what we called the Library to see if our mark was there. In 97/98, our Campus Minister Retired. This is during our time there. We had a frame made for him to honor his time and each person that was a member during that year had their photo placed in the frame. Needless to say, our mark was left. I'm in the top row on the right counting backwards from the person closest to the frame from right to left, I'm the third one there. The friend I went with is on the right side bottom one photo up on the right.

On Saturday, we tailgated at the Wesley Foundation. There were about 10 people there from during the time we attended. After a sort slide show and a lot of talking, we went to the football game. It was hot ... and the team stunk, but we had a good time anyways. (especially watching the band!)

We hung out with old friends after the game and on Sunday we went to the worship service. It was our first experience with the minister (both the Wesley Foundation Minister & the Church Minister) and they were so extremely kind. I felt very welcomed back "home" and know that I'm welcomed back anytime. I definitely remember why I attended in the first place. They have open hearts, open minds and open doors.

I'd post a photo of my friend and me, but I haven't gotten permission. So you'll have to do with the ones above! :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

On the Road again

For me the worst part of the trip is that I have to drive. Usually, I get up at the crack of dawn and head out. But this time, I decided to do things a bit differently. The other thing that is going to be different is that I typically drive straight through with no stopping unless I am running out of gasoline. I'd rather push through 5 hours of driving than stop and make it a 7 or 8 hour trip.

Well today, I'll be making a detour to pick up one of my collegiate best friends. Then we'll head out together. The other thing is that I typically stay within 10 minutes of the university. This time it's more like 30. I'm not sure how the weather is going to be. I'm not really caring. I've not packed yet. Usually I pack a week in advance. My camera isn't charged. Mentally I've been in the mountains for a week. Physically I've been in a really bad place. I'm hoping that I'll be able to push through whatever symptoms arise over the weekend and have a great time.

I even "practiced" staying up "late" last night. I didn't sleep until 11pm and got up at 6:45 just to see how that would go. I won't lie ... I'm exhausted this morning, but I don't have that cold I thought I was getting. I'll be taking Vitamin C with just in case it happens again.

In less than 2 hours, I'll be getting in the car with my small bag of luggage and my hangers full of clothes. I decided to carry two full hangers of clothes so I don't have to worry about wrinkles instead of just throwing everything in the luggage. We'll see how that works out. :O

Change ... my how I've changed over the last 3 years. Going to a friend's house without 20,000 maps. I only have the GPS to guide me. Going without an arsenal of medications. Going without any preconceived notion about what is going to happen. Watch out world, Jennifer is changing.

I just realized that the last time I was at WCU, I was sporting a PICC Line and long hair. I had made the decision not to cut my hair until I was done with antibiotics and the PICC Line. Since I got it cut, I've kept it fairly short since. I say "fairly" because I don't like "short short" hair. :) It took me one hour to pack, shower and dress. That's not bad --- for a woman! Only missing two things from my bad that I have to grab. My camera (most important) and "Hot Hands." (ya know those things you open up and keeps your hands warm?). I have to check the weather forecast.

AHHHH in less than 30 minutes I'll be on the road! I'm so excited I could burst!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

So far

My Xtra tab of Vitamin C, Xtra Zinc and magic drops seem to be working. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. So I'll continue the regimen praying that it works well enough to keep me healthy during my trip. Only thing bad about the regimen is that if I overdo it on the Vitamin C, I'll spend the day in the bathroom. The rule about Vitamin C that I was given was .... (and: do not take my advice because I'm not a doctor, consult your doctor about anything before taking any vitamins or supplements PLEASE) you can take as much as you want, BUT ... once it gives you runny stools to back off by one gram. So I never know each spell whether I'm at last spells dose. So yesterday I took 6 grams in a 2 hour period. My stools are fine so far, but today I'll probably take 10 grams in 12 hours. If I can take more, I will. However I'm going to be very busy today so I may not have time to get it all in. Feels like a nursery school song.

Ole Doc Brown* gives out some meds
with ..
2 grams here
and 2 grams there
here a gram
there a gram
everywhere a gram gram
Ole Doc Brown gives out some meds

C = Vitamin C
Z = Zinc
O = over the top special magical drop

* 2 Million Bonus points to the first person that can accurately guess why I said "Ole Doc Brown."

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

IN 4.5 seconds

I go from "unsick" to "getting sick" very quickly. I mean in like 4.5 seconds quickly. I was fine an hour ago. Now my nose is getting drippy and my head hurts. Pray that it goes away very quickly because I leave Friday for my Homecoming weekend. I'm taking Xtra Vitamin C and Zinc tonight with my special drops too hoping to keep it away., but first comes prayers. Pray that I don't get sick. Thanks!

Sunday, October 3, 2010


October is going to be crazy busy for me. I typically have one big planned thing in a month. It's most of the time not even really that big of plans, but this month ... the plans are enormous. Seems like the month is filled with one thing or another. I'm having to cut out things that I would really love to do because I don't think I'll have the energy for it. We'll see though. I may still do those things after all.

I'm getting my hair done. This takes energy out of me in and of itself. Something about sitting in one place unable to move for over an hour just does me in. I always get back feeling fatigued and exhausted.

I'm leaving to go to the mountains. I'll head to Hickory first and then onto my Alma Mater for the Homecoming weekend. I'm sure a trip to the Clothing & Gifts store will be the first order of business to purchase my Purple & Gold Apparel if I arrive before I can check into the lovely mountain Inn I have booked for the trip. I haven't bought a new WCU shirt in two years. I wear them often so they are quite worn out.

Tailgating (What? ME?; yes just with no Alcohol people!), Alumni Church Meeting and Football Game. I'm sure there will be other things to pop up as I run into a few people I know. Because I'm going Homecoming weekend, there are several college friends that are going. One I haven't seen in about 13 years. I'm pretty excited about that!

I'm sure I'll be to sing this at least once with the Pride of the Mountains Marching Band! Yes, they sing!

Hail to thee, our Alma Mater
Faithful, kind, and true;
Every son and every daughter
Offers praise to you.

Hail to the dearest spot of all;
Hail to WCU!
Light and life and fond devotion
All to thee are due.

Headed back to Hickory first and then back home.

The following day is our big Work Professional Day. These about take the breath out of me. It's really exhausting learning a lot of stuff in one day. :P

Then that same week is UNC Basketball Baby! Late Night with Roy. I may have to cut this from my agenda. :(

October 22nd: My High School Alma Mater is having this HUGE big deal game! It's a "Vikings Kick Cancer" Football game! The team will wear Pink and will be raising money for Breast Cancer Research. About two years ago, we lost a beloved teacher to breast cancer. I think this has been in the works ever since. I'm sure there will lots of funds raised. As far as they know, this is only the 2nd high school in the country to do something like this. If you want to send donations to the school, leave a comment with your email address and I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can. Remember, I moderate all my comments so your email address will only be seen by me. I'll be posting about this again soon.

The next day, I really want to go to Charlotte. My favorite movie is Back to the Future. They are going to present it in only two movie theaters in NC and both are in Charlotte. SO, if I want to go, I better buy tickets now. The problem with this is that I will be up really late on the 22nd and I'd have to leave at the crack of Dawn on the 23rd. But, it's a once in a lifetime kind of thing. SOoooo I might have to bite the bullet and do it anyways!

I feel like there is other stuff too, but I can't recall right now what everything is. The two biggest are WCU trip and the HS Football Game.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

I'm no Betty Crocker

I probably have maybe 5 things I can make in the kitchen. I am no Betty Crocker. There is really only one thing I can make that is *really* good. This is the one thing that gets requested at "functions" (that I don't go to so I rarely even make). It's my Granny's special Homemade Macaroni & Cheese. Well recently I began reading a blog that made me go "YUM." I saw one thing and thought, "I bet I can make that." Now this rarely happens and even when it does, the "thing" winds up in a trash faster than it comes out of the oven. But, I decided to give it the ole heave ho and try it anyways. It's called Peanut Butter Marshmallow Krispy topped Brownie, but I think I'd have to rename it to, "Dr. P would never approve this Brownie."

I used the Brownie recipe that "Skinny Chick" used and wouldn't you know ... it turned out rather well. There are a few changes I would make should I choose to do this again, but turns out maybe I'm no Betty Crocker ... but her really bad cooking cousin Barbara who lucks up every now and again.