Laughter Lives Tuesday

This post is part of "Laughter Lives! Tuesday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone else's "Laughter Lives!" posts.

Okay so this laughter is produced by my own stupidity. :o)

So I was on IM the other day with a very good friend of mine (real life friend) and we were casually talking about something. I remember the exact conversation, but I do not want to post about *that* conversation here.

However at one point my friend used an acronym. For the life of me, I could NOT figure out what this stood for other than the OBVIOUS .. but the way she used it in a sentence I knew that was NOT what she was talking about.

So to provide optimal laughter

Acronym: FB

My thoughts on what it was:

Facebook (obvious right)
Football
Flower Bed
Fancy Bachelor
Farmer Boots
Fish Bait

Those were just a few of the things I said, but some of the things I *thought* were

Funny Banana
Floral Bunches
Florida Beaches
Flounders Bite
Food Blender

So moral of the story ... even if it's OBVIOUS to you what the Acronym is. maybe you should hold off on Acronyms for me. *** Uh one reader wanted to know what FB actually stood for in this case. I am too embarrassed to say! ***

I once thought LOL was lots of love
ICAM ... Incompetent Can-opener Apparatus Machine

I won't even tell you what I thought LMAO meant. :D (for those that don't know it actually means Laughing My Ass Off)

Two New Comments (Anonymous & Robb)

**** My Not Me Monday automatically posted ... scroll down to see this *****

I would like to address two comments I received today. One is from an Anonymous person that I bet I know on a forum. Since she didn't leave his or her name ... I don't know who it is.

And I quote:

Living w/chronic lyme is not really living. The only treatment that has REALLY helped me has been declared illegal in my state. I was infected in 1988, not in the wood but in a suburb doing yard work. I found the tick and removed it. I was not diagnosed until 1998.
In the midwest, many doctors still deny that Lyme even exists and especially not here. It's everywhere and the symptoms can be anything. A microbiologist discovered more than 110 subspecies of the organism, many very virile and others very mild. It depends on the strength of the infection in the tick and that of the infected person's immune system and ONLY then can you determine how that person should be treated. I feel that each day I wake up is a gift for me. The lady who spoke about her life in the documentary "Under Our Skin" died a few months ago at 51. Her heart was so compromised that she just didn't wake up that day. What a blessing for her. I hope I am as lucky. I do plan to donate my body to a facility that is doing research on lyme at that time.

Hello dear friend. I completely agree with EVERYTHING you said. I am doing really well now with treatments that also controversial. I know I could have a set back at anytime, but I choose to live day to day with the HOPE that my LLMD has given me the best he can offer and even things that aren't traditional. I found out about Leslie almost as soon as it happened. I am assuming that is who you refer to in the statement I bolded. It is so extremely sad for her family, her friends, her doctors, and her "fans." I hear her sister is not doing well either.

Because this is a text basis thing and I can't read into the emotion in which you were writing, I am not sure if you are trying to educate my readers or me. Or if you were just angry because of how Lyme attacks the body of innocence or how the political aspect of Lyme attacks the doctors. You have an excellent style of writing in any case. I would love for you to be my guest blogger in the future as an educator of Lyme. So please comment if you would consider this and let me know how I can get in touch with you. I'm sure you're on the internet somewhere! :P Have a blessed day. I am so sorry that Lyme has havoced your life. No one gets Lyme until they GET Lyme. I heard that once froma friend of mine that has Lyme before I was diagnosed. She was completely dead on ... I couldn't understand what she was going through until I was diagnosed. However, I already had a fairly good idea because I had those same pains and symptoms. I just wasn't diagnosed ... I wasn't Living the Lyme Life. It may not be living in the same way a healthy person lives, but it IS a way of life. I eat, sleep and breathe Lyme Disease. I wake up with new ideas on how to stay healthy and write my congressman about the doctors that treat me.

Thanks for the comment dear friend, whomever you may be. It has inspired me to write early this morning.

Hello,

My wife found your blog. (very nice) I have lymes or so we think many Docs and pick lines later I still feel very sick. Im in Charlotte and I wanted to see if you mihgt telll me who your LLMD is? I would go to the ends of the earth to get well. I have sot just been put out to pasture on oxicotin and percocet for pain. You have very strong faith. Mine seems to be being tested. So if you could email me or call me with you LLMD s Name and number I really need some help and hope this hs been a long 21 months with no end in sight, going back to seee my infectious desies doc on thursday. I dont care where I have to go on to geet ride of the mean of stuff.

Robb
(left out your address & telephone number so it's not so easily findable for others)

Dear Robb,

I am so sorry that Lyme Disease may have touched your life in some way. If you have done any research at all, you will know that it is a political battle on physicians that treat for Lyme specifically. You are in an area where one of the BEST LLMD's is in the country. Many people would drive to the ends of the Earth to go visit him. I chose a different path because he was in a huge political/medical battle at the time of my still trying to find what was going on with me. And because of that fight, many people with Lyme will never say his name outloud on a public forum or even over the phone for fear of retribution. I am the same way with my doctor. However, I can forward you in the right direction. You or your wife (how did she find my blog? :) love her for that) should find the NC Lyme Disease Foundation. There is a place on there to email the founders. Those wonderful ladies will give you two suggestions for our area on doctors who treat Lyme. One is the gentlement I just referred to and the other is an Integrative Medical Physician in Raleigh (my doctor). They both treat differently and they are both very smart. I know patients who even see both doctors. One to get the more traditional treatment of Lyme and the other to get the more alternative treatment.

Both doctors will cost you quite a bit as neither takes insurance. I chose my doctor in Raleigh because at the time I wasn't even sure if I had Lyme Disease. It was just one of the many things I thought I might have. I chose him because he was a doctor that treats a variety of illnesses and I knew he did not have Lyme blinders on. I started this blog for two reasons. One for education and one for inspiration. My faith is one of the top reasons I believe I am doing so much better. I had (have) faith that God would provide. God always provides. Maybe not in the manner of our heart's desires, but he does provide. Keep the faith.

Now I will tell you depending on the severity of your illness and your body's resiliency, it may take quite a long time to get on the path to normalcy. I am not a doctor, but I did once stay at the Holiday Inn. :)

If you would like to talk more extensively, please leave a comment again with a way to email you. Email is a more convenient way for me to get in touch with people. Once I receive your comment with an email, and we correspond ... I will delete your comment so that is open to others as little as possible. I would hate for you to be exposed for the whole world to see and email. :o) With that said, I will probably delete your previous comment because I can not edit it to remove your address & telephone number. I wanted to be able to have your comment so that's why I posted it in this blog posting.

Not Me Monday

**** Please go visit MckMama's blog today ***** Her baby needs our prayers. Click on the Not Me box and it will take you to her blog in order to read what is going on with her sweet baby.


Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So in order to release all of the things I did this week from my brain, I am going to tell you all the things I did not do. They go against my nature and are things I would NEVER do.

On Tuesday, I did not show up at my doctors office with two printed out photos of my arm. I would never freak out over a medical condition that would warrant me to show up at the office unexpected with not only one picture, but two. I most certainly did not circle the welp in the photo to show where it was with my finger as size reference next to it. I would not roll my eyes at the secretary when she suggested it would just an allergic reaction to something and I should just use Benedryl.

It did not take a whopping 6 days watching things that were in my DVR from vacation. I am not addicted to television and would never DVR these things while on vacation much less spend from 12:30 until 7pm every day watching them. It would not take me so long as to interfere in my regular shows that it would take an additional two days to catch up with all 30 things in the DVR.

On Thursday, I did not lose my V card by going to the hair salon to get my hair colored. I am most certainly not so self conscious that my grey hair had started to bother me. What I look like on the outside does not affect how I feel on the inside.

On Friday, I did not get upset and have actual tears when the Satelite went out because of a storm that spawned tornadoes. These actual tears were not an actual reflection of being upset because I was missing March Madness, but in fact due to being a little bit scared. Speaking of "scared," I was not so scared of the Tornadoes that I did not spend a good ten minutes in the bathroom thinking that I was about to have a Wizard of Oz moment. I was not preparing to bring the dogs into the safest room of the house.

After the Tornado threat was over, I did not stay up until midnight on Friday just to watch Carolina play. I did not FB about me needing toothpicks to keep my eyelids open and was not pestering all of my real life friends about how I needed them to help me stay up by chatting with them on AIM. They did not do this either! Certainly not. Not them.

I did not create a new blog on Saturday. I didn't spend all day on Friday and Saturday creating this new blog. It's address is NOT http://prayingforlymies.blogspot.com.

Something that is completely out of character for me is that I did not wake up near midnight on Sunday evening (aka almost Monday morning) to drink water. I did not wind up on my computer during the wake up break for water and post a youtube video on my facebook page, make a comment on my not new blog, chat with a friend and even check some lyme forums.
These are out of character for me at near to midnight so there is no way I would do this.

I am not an 80's movie geek. Back to the Future is absolutely not my favorite movie of all time. Therefore I did not beg for a Flux Capacitor that was found on Think Geek.com for my upcoming anniversary and I am not plugging for a gift on my blog. It's ONLY 249.99 ... who wouldn't want to buy me this beauty ... let me guess .. NOT YOU!

Here for your viewing pleasure are my old Not Me's!

Week 1: Wii Fit Cheater
Week 2: OCD Shoe Lace
Week 3: "Your in" for a real treat on this one.
Week 4: I'm 12 again!
Week 5: PICC me! PICC me!
Week 6: Oh "Holey" Days!
Week 7: Overeaters Anonymous
Week 8: Hair Today: Gone Tomorrow
Week 9: Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Week 10: Khakilin' at the store
Week 11: To Capri or Not To Capri
Week 12: Losing my V Card (today's post)

FAQ

I know some may have questions that I haven't answered in any of the blog posts. If you have a question ... now's the time. Put them in the comment section and if I'm not too offended by the question (haa haa), I'll answer them! I'm hoping to be able to use this in the about me section so that people can get answers quickly without having to scan the whole blog.



1. Who are you?

My name is Jennifer. I am in my 30's and live in North Carolina. I am married with zero children and a couple of pesky adorable dogs.

2. Why did you create a blog?

I created this blog to give encouragement to others that have Lyme Disease and other tick borne illnesses. I started it in September of 2008 after 18 months of treatment after reading other blogs that were inspirational to me. I had not found any Lyme blogs and thought I would create one.

3. How did you find out you had Lyme Disease?

Starting in 1995, I began having some strange symptoms. They lingered for quite some time and I was finally diagnosed by a LLMD in March 2007. If you want to know more, read this post on how I was diagnosed.

4. What is LLMD?

Lyme Literate Medical Doctors

Greta's message on Lyme

Do you know the name Greta from Fox News? Well she wrote a blog on Lyme. GO here and make comments so she knows it is important that we get the word out about Lyme Disease.

Praying for Lymies

I created a new blog inspired by Brent Riggs and my friends over at Truth about Lyme Disease.

Come visit and pray for my Lyme friends. First up is my friend Lisa from Truth About Lyme Disease Forum.

I am so excited about it. It has come together very quickly. Please go over and visit. Post prayers and encourage my Lyme friends. :D


Edited to add:

Here is our first Lymie of the Week.

Please send Lisa a special prayer or message by emailing: jenniferallton.lisa@blogger.com

It will automatically post on the praying for lymies blog.

That email will be disabled April 3, 2009 early in the morning. Here is Lisa's story:

I started getting sick in 1991. I went from Dr to Dr with heart palpitations, rashes, head pressure, memory problems, body aches, internal vibrations, and much more. They just kept telling me I had panic attacks. After 15 years of getting sicker and sicker I finally get diagnosed with Lyme Disease. After 3 weeks of Doxycycline I just got worse. I found an LLMD (lyme literate MD) but have a bad reactions to antibiotics. After three years in Lyme treatment I'm not much better. I also have bulging disks in my neck. I've lost much use in my right arm. My shoulder hurts all the time. But the worst is the endless fatigue caused by the lyme. I feel like all energy has been sucked from every cell in my body. It is leading me into a bad depression. I don't think if I didn't have faith in God that I would still be here. I know that this is the path that I'm supposed to lead so I just pray for the strength to help me get through it. I have three children, two dogs, three cats, and a bunny. They keep me gong. I'd be in bed all day if it wasn't for them! Thank you for your prayers everyone from the bottom of my heart!

Lisa

Living the Lyme Life (bump)

**Updated** March 15, 2009***

I noticed that there might be a few new folks learning about my journey. Go to these old blogs to see how far I've come. I update it every so often after writing a post that is relevant to my health.


My Diagnosis
My Therapy
A day in the life of a treatment
My PICC Line Story Part 1
My PICC Line Story Part 2
Grey's PICC Line Story
November 15, 2008 Update
Mercury Toxicity (My Mercury test came back negative)
Aluminum Toxicity
PICC Line Removal
Two weeks post PICC
Two year anniversary plus supplements
March 15, 2009 Update
Post PICC Pics
Conflicted Lymie
CDC Positive Test Results




There ya go. The most important health blogs all in one place! Enjoy reading if you've not read them before.

Good News for the Bolte Family

Hi/Low Thursday

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their
site.

My Highs:

It was so refreshing to get away with my husband. Although my treatment has been lessened over the last few months, we have been under a great deal of stress with the illness of my Grandfather. So it was refreshing to get away for four whole days to go to the beach. Last time I was at the beach, I so cautious that it was hard to really enjoy myself. This time with no picc line, I was able to walk on the beach without fearing infecting the line. Here I was running towards the ocean. It was so cold though that I barely kept my feet in the water, but I did dig my feet down into the sand.

Also another High is that I got word that my Grandfather is doing better. He's been transferred out of the hospital and is in a rehab facility. I thought about him often while I was at the beach.

My Lows:

Only really personal low was that I had to return home. I wasn't ready to come home yet and upon my return was that several of my blogger friends were in need of some serious prayers.

Stellan's Heart

The Bolte Family's little bean. Their last ultrasound was a bit unsettling.

My Lymie friend Candice really needs your thoughts and prayers right now.

Emerson White: A precious little girl who needs your prayers. Visit her and say a quick hello on her guest book.



There are so many others that need prayers that I could go on and on. Please pray for all my blogger friends.

Post Picc Pics!

1. Take a nice long shower without a picc line cover *check*



2. Find a hot tub somewhere and enjoy it. *check*


3. Swim in a pool. *check*


4. Go Bowling. (soon?) :( Haven't done it yet, but hopefully have a trip planned with a friend or two (or 10) soon.

5. Walk on the beach *check*


6. Go to a Winterguard show! *check*

7. Spin a rifle. (Okay maybe not .. but it would be fun.) (uh yeah haven't done it and probably won't be doing it anytime soon, but do taking pictures of these count????)

Rifles at Fort Macon <>

8. Hug my friends without fear of being hurt (I seriously need to get better pics of this)


9. Sleep on my right side without hurting



What??? that's not me sleeping in my bed? Could have fooled me!?!?! It was one of my favorite photos that my husband took with our SLR camera. But yes I am sleeping on my right side again without pain.

Not Me Monday

**** Please go visit MckMama's blog today ***** Her baby needs our prayers. Click on the Not Me box and it will take you to her blog in order to read what is going on with her sweet baby.


Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.






I did NOT consider wearing my annual green pants for St. Patrick's Day. I surely would never have considered wearing them because they have a huge hole in the rear. I did not give an excuse as good as the ladies on "What Not To Wear" give to Clint and Stacy when I wasn't explaining to my husband how it wasn't that bad.

The Green Pant Debate did not turn into the Great Closet Clean up of 2009. Since I don't have clothes (IE the green pants that I've NOT been wearing since '95) from the mid-nineties in my closet, the Green Pant debate did not cause me to create a pile of clothes that needed to be thrown away or donated. Obviously, I don't need to get rid of any of my clothes because they are all stylish and have been purchased in this decade. I did not go through a serious crying spell when I was pulling out some of my absolute favorite clothes from 15 years ago.

And since I wasn't cleaning out my side of the closet, I did not make my hubby clean out his side as well. That would be cruel to make him throw out his favorite T-shirts because they are stained with oil/dirt and riddled with holes. If I was a good wife, I would have discreetly thrown them out in the garbage and when asked later replied with "Uh I dunno ... you must have put it somewhere." I most certainly did not think about doing this after he went through his t-shirts and didn't get rid of all the ones that I would have. Nope Not me!

The Great Closet Clean up of 2009 did not cause me to go crazy and buy a bunch of pants from random places (including the Hip ~ Old Navy .. since I am not Hip in nature, Old Navy would never be on my list of places to shop). I did not purchase Capris because I swore about 5 years ago that I would either wear Shorts OR Pants and never those kind of pants that are neither kind. Now I am not in a panic because I barely have any regular sized pants and it would be nuts to be in a panic in March about not having long pants because I shouldn't need pants until September since I do not wear pants all summer long because I am not embarrased by my birthmark removal scar. I will not say pants anymore. PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS!

Once arriving at Atlantic Beach, I did not ask my husband request that something be done about this:

Or This:

I did not seriously consider going to the store and purchasing Windex because evidence of a child that had been either picking his nose or eating some form of Kentucky Fried Chicken and rubbing it against all the windows in the room. This most certainly would not gross me out in the least. And I hope it is even more evident that I did not take photos of this to show the front desk if it wasn't cleaned by the time we got back from lunch/dinner.

While at the beach, I did not do cartwheels in the sand. My husband did not take photographic proof either. This is NOT me doing the worst cartwheel known to man.

Here for your viewing pleasure are my old Not Me's!

Week 1: Wii Fit Cheater
Week 2: OCD Shoe Lace
Week 3: "Your in" for a real treat on this one.
Week 4: I'm 12 again!
Week 5: PICC me! PICC me!
Week 6: Oh "Holey" Days!
Week 7: Overeaters Anonymous
Week 8: Hair Today: Gone Tomorrow
Week 9: Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Week 10: Khakilin' at the store
Week 11: To Capri or Not To Capri (today's post)


(PS Scroll down for the two posts I wrote yesterday about my Atlantic Beach Trip)

Atlantic Beach

So the primary goal of going on this trip was to relax and get away. We accomplished just that. We arrived on Wednesday afternoon to our destination of the Sheraton. I highly recommend this hotel at Atlantic Beach (especially if you can get the suite with jacuzzi tub). It wasn't long after arrival that we made our way back out to find something to eat. Now the funniest thing happened on our way out. I don't know if I mentioned this when we went to Nags Head that we had the hardest time finding pizza places. Well, pizza places were a plenty at Atlantic Beach. Every few minutes there was another advertisement for pizza. I was starving and we finally landed at Dairy Queen just so we could get something fast.

We went back to the hotel and walked on the beach. We proceeded to take the first of many photographs. We began thinking about all the things we could do, but wound up not doing very many of the things we had "planned." Two things kept us from doing them. Mainly it was the weather, but the other was that it wouldn't have allowed for much relaxing (our main goal for the vacation). We really wanted to go visit Cape Lookout Lighthouse, but it was just too cold on the day we could have gone.

We saw dolphins from our hotel room balcony. We attempted to take many photographs, but only a few really showed them. Here were the best two photos. We went out on the pier the next night about the same time hoping to get some more photos, but they didn't come out to play the next night. These were taken off our balcony on Friday Night.

Dolphins swimming together

Dolphin swimming in the waves.

The main two things we did (other than swimming in the pool and lounging in the hot tub) was go to Fort Macon & the NC Aquarium. I may share pictures of those later on, but here's another one of me under the pier.

PS. I've posted once today already so go down one to see my favorite photo of me from this trip.

I'm back!!!

Nothing much to say.

I went to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina. My husband and I relaxed. We had an enjoyable time of nothingness! I'll get a good post on the vacation in later.

We must have taken over 2500 pictures between two cameras.

My favorite picture of me:

Time Out

I am taking a Time Out from the internet. My husband and I are leaving Wednesday afternoon. We are headed to the beaches of North Carolina. We not only need time away from life, but we need time for each other. This has been planned for a few weeks and in light of everything that has transpired over the last week and a half ... I have decided that I will take this time not to bring a lap top with me to the beach. I will be shutting myself off from the world. I believe I need this time. You will not hear from me until Sunday afternoon.

No AIM, No Yahoo, No Facebook, No nothing.

A respite of technology so to speak. In case of emergency, we will have our cell phones with us. I will miss the internet I'm sure, but it will be nice to get away from life. Enjoy a hot tub and a pool and an Aquarium and who knows what else. It's going to be a spontaneous and not planned vacation. We'll wake up every day deciding what we'll do. We don't want to have our vacation so booked that we're exhausted by the end of it.

I'll miss all of you and hope that you don't post too many blogs without me .. I'll probably come home to tons of Facebook messages and notifications. I may even have a few comments here to approve. I hope to have many "Not Me" stories for Not Me Monday.

And my husband and I will enjoy our first night away from home without my picc line. What an awesome gift God has given me.

If I just lay here!

This is what I plan to do on my vacation:

My husband and I plan to waste time.
We plan to just lay there and forget the world. Forget all the medication, the pain, the journey, the life. But we do need something. I prefer that this song is not about a man & woman, but about "man" and God.

We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Not Me Monday

I chuckle because yesterday I said I would "NOT" do "Not Me Monday" and early this morning I feel compelled to share one thing with you that I did not do.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



Because I am a fully grown woman and look completely my age (haa), I did not find myself in the CHILDREN'S department in search for a pair of khaki's to fit. I did not take said pants to the dressing room (size 14) and I did not try them on and stare in the mirror as they did not fit me almost perfectly. The only place they were not a little snug were my hips since I do not have any hips whatsoever ... the pants would not be snug there. I did not place the pants into the shopping cart and proceed to the check out counter anyways!

That's All for this week. (though you may want to come back just in case I think of things to add later) Stay Tuned next week after my beach trip. I am bound to do something that needs to go on NMM.

Here for your viewing pleasure are my old Not Me's!

Week 1: Wii Fit Cheater
Week 2: OCD Shoe Lace
Week 3: "Your in" for a real treat on this one.
Week 4: I'm 12 again!
Week 5: PICC me! PICC me!
Week 6: Oh "Holey" Days!
Week 7: Overeaters Anonymous
Week 8: Hair Today: Gone Tomorrow
Week 9: Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Week 10: Khakilin' at the store (today's post)

Sunday update

Last week was a difficult week. Not only was I emotionally drained from my grandfather's poor health, I had a cold. It was not pleasant. I wasn't sure if I would have the immune system to beat it, but so far so good. I took all my immune building supplements and was reminded of one special supplement that I have and took it today as well. It is a supplement that I took for to kill bacteria, but thought it might be useful for this particular strain of whatever it is that I have.

Because it does kill the Lyme bacteria as well, the potential for herxing is there. For those not in the Lyme speak, "herxing" is the effect of when the bacteria dies and creates toxins. Those toxins make you feel quite lousy and sometimes it makes you feel even worse than lousy. I fear the potential of the "herx," but I know that I need this supplement right now. When I return from the beach, I will begin a new supplement. This supplement may also create the herx reaction. I received this supplement last week, but have been terrified to take it.

It's Prima Una de Gato. (Most know it's name by: Cat's Claw) It is so strong that I have to take one drop in four ounces of water. Then increase each day until I get up to five drops. Depending on how I do, I may have to increase very slowly. Oh the other thing that I had done a couple of weeks ago was have my lab work redone. I wanted to see if I could possibly get a positive Lyme test. Through Labcorp, they have a negative, equivocal and positive results. There are no specific bands to look at .. it just gives you an overall answer. I do not know what my Labcorp results were previously, but this time I had an Equivocal result. This means that the bands weren't strong enough to be a full on positive, but there was something there so they couldn't say it was negative. I am waiting on my IgeneX test results. Those show more details on specific bands.

I can tell that stress is playing a role on how I feel physically. I have had small amounts of joint and muscle pain. I have also had a significant amount of twitching. The weather has also played a small role. It snowed the 2nd day of March, then it was hot at the end of the week and now it's cold & rainy! It has rained most of the week. Rainy weather affects my joints and muscles. It also affects my moods.

I had so much fun at Congress on Wednesday, but I was exhausted & winded at the end of a very short visit. It taught me that I am definately not at 100 percent. I received a hand written letter from Senator Rouzer from Johnston County. He is the Senator that had just read my letter prior to me walking into his office. However, he was not available so we talked with his wonderful assistant. :o)

And props to my best friend. He always seems to know exactly what I need when I am feeling down. He always seems to call when I'm feeling my lowest and knows exactly what to say or do to help me get my chin up. Props to my other friends too. You guys all rock. You have no idea how much your support and prayers have meant over the last week. The phone calls, the IM's, the emails, the comments --- you guys have a special place in my heart.

Just so it doesn't throw you off guard, I plan to take a Time Out from blogging this week. My husband and I are going to the beach on Wednesday. It will be a huge blessing to get out of town. My mother in law will be a huge blessing to us and stay out our house while we go out of town. Her staying will allow us to go out of town without worrying about our dogs or phone messages. She'll be able to hear all of our messages so if my family calls about my grandfather. We will return on Sunday. I'm sure I'll have a lot to say when I get back!

I believe I will skip Not Me Monday this week. I know I've said it before and still participated, but I have a lot of packing and cleaning to do before I leave on Wednesday.

Praying for Emerson White

I have been reading this blog about a little girl named Emerson for a while. The short of it is that she was born with a metabolic disorder and her biggest hurdle is complete intestinal failure. Eme had a multiple organ transplant and they removed her large intestine, spleen, and 2/3 of her stomach. They transplanted a small intestines, liver and pancreas.

This beautiful girl is very sick. She's been in the hospital for 13 months and she undergone additional surgeries since the multiple organ transplant.

Please visit her website and pray for not only this little girl, but her beautiful mother Erika who updates the blog as frequently as they can. Why do they need such urgent and many prayers now? The hospital is sending Eme HOME. Read her blog on why this is such an overwhelming task. She has been placed back on the transplant list and is waiting for it to be activated.

Prepare yourself

I hate those two words: Prepare yourself.

There are several phrases I hate:

"You need to sit down."
"Prepare yourself."
"Take a deep breath."
"It's time."
"He's had a good life."
Anything with the words "do not resuscitate."


On Saturday, I got the phone call I've been dreading the last 9 years. I don't remember everything about that phone calls, but some various words I heard:

Emergency Room
Critical Care
Struggling to Breathe
Immobile
Vomiting
Prepare yourself

After hemming and hawing over these words that circled in my head, my husband and I went up to the Critical Care Unit for me to visit. I "took a deep breath" and went in. What I saw wasn't pretty because it sure looked like to me that "it's time."

Sunday he's doing better. I hear nothing Monday or Tuesday, but on Wednesday I get another phone call. Again the words struggling to breathe were part of the phone call. On Thursday, I get all the phrases I hate ... including Prepare yourself & the DNR orders.

So now it's a waiting game. Will it be today, tonight, tomorrow? This weekend, next week, the week after? We do not know. What we do know is that he's struggling with oxygen levels and that he is refusing to eat. He's barely talking b/c he's struggling to breathe. Will the last words I him say is "I love you too." I hope so. That's a phrase that I could hear over and over again and never tire.

But in the meantime, I am just trying to "prepare myself" because "it's time" and "he's had a good life." I'm struggling to breathe, but trying to "take a deep breath" and I am "sitting down" because it's all I can do at the moment knowing that my Dad & Uncle signed the "DNR" orders just the other day.

Honestly, I am doing the very best I can with my motto: "The skills that I have and the love I receive."

Welcome

I would like to say a big welcome to my Anonymous commenter Sam and Charisse. Thank you for commenting.

Sam, the best post to read to catch up on everything is:

Living the Lyme Life

I never went bowling with my PICC Line. I haven't even been able to go since it was removed, but do you have a Wii? In Wii Sports, there is a bowling game! It's so much fun.

Thanks for commenting. Enjoy my blog. I've been going through some emotional highs and lows, but I hope you'll find something useful here.