Missing the "gene"

I am missing a very important "gene" in my genetic make-up. This isn't a medical condition of missing an actual genetic component, but there is something missing none-the-less. As you all know, I recently got my hair cut. I let my hair get way too long. Why you ask? Because the longer it is, the easier it is for me to maintain. That is until it gets to a certain length where it begins to form a bird's nest in it overnight.

If I don't feel like trying to do something with it, I could throw it up in a pony tail and go. This has been my ritual since middle school. I've only gotten my hair cut this short since 1990 ... maybe 3 times. Every time I get really excited at the hair salon, but then the let down happens.

It's the moment I realize ... I am missing the "girl" gene. The gene that automatically is there that let's me know not only what to do with my hair to make it look good, but how to do it. After my hair cuts, I wait as long as possible to wash it because I know after I wash it ... it will never look as good as it did.


So last night, I finally washed it. I couldn't find my "clips" to "hold up the layers" to dry it with a kind of torture device called a hair dryer. So I finagled my old picc line covers to hold my hair up. It worked, but whoa was it funny looking. I still am not quite able to dry my hair nice and straight with the dryer and brush b/c ... who can brush their hair and hold a hair dryer at the same time?????? Oh wait .. the whole female population ~ except me.


I attempted to dry it. I spent two hours "trying" to flatten the mess out of my hair disaster with a hair torture device known as a flat iron. I used some kind of product for heat and used some kind of product that smells good and the mist misery fell upon me as the spray sprewed (yeah yeah I made the word up) all over my glasses.

So after spending over two hours working on my hair, I first cried about how I was missing the fixing hair gene and then I slumped into bed the hair messer-upper device. I woke up with my hair sticking straight up in the air with no evidence that I had spent wasted over two hours of my life the night before. So I had to lose another 45 minutes just trying to get it to look decent for work or I'd be ridiculed by the ladies (that have the gene).

*sigh* It saddens me that I can not figure out how to make my hair unruly. This is my profile of what I saw this morning. I can not even show you the front view because I had just rolled out of bed and it was a sight not to be seen. Can you see that "mess" in the back sticking straight out?

And just on Thursday,
my hair stylist a woman who has the hair fixer gene
had my hair looking like this:



What is wrong with this picture???? Can anyone help me? It took her an hour to wash, cut, dry and flat iron my hair. It took me NEARLY FOUR HOURS to wash, dry and flat iron and it didn't look anywhere close to how she had it. :(