Friday, September 21, 2012
15 years ago part 2
So on the morning of September 21st (15 years ago today), he picked me up and we went out for breakfast. However on this day, our plans changed. They morphed and for the first time ever it did not make me anxious. Our original plans were to go eat breakfast and then for him to take me back to my parent's house and then for me to head to college. I had planned for us to hang out for 80 minutes max (20 minutes of transportation and an hour of eating and conversing). As we were sitting and conversing and laughing, I realized that I wasn't ready for our fun to end. I really just wanted to hang out with my friend for longer. I thought just this once I would break my plan even though I had a time schedule. I made a suggestion that I would be cool if we could hang out longer. Hang out we did. We went to the lake and to the rock quarry (because I had never seen it) and finally to the bowling alley. Then, we made it home.
I was thinking 1/2 way through our lake walk that if I could describe a perfect date - that what was happening was the perfect date - except there was a huge problem. This wasn't a date. There was no hand holding or flirting. There was no "date" discussion at all. This wasn't a date. This was a friend. I shrugged off my thoughts and continued to have a great time - with my friend. I spent 5 hours on my drive back home and I couldn't stop thinking about the wedding, the time I spent with my friend and the direction my life was headed. I couldn't stop thinking about the spontaneous of it all and how much fun I had.
I arrive back to my college dorm room. I remember this room. I hated it. I didn't mind the room so much, but I did not like the girls on my hall. They were like sorority girls without the sorority. Cliques here and cliques there, but I didn't click with any of them. My roommate lived with her boyfriend off campus - so I had the room to myself. I think I saw my roommate all of three times the entire semester and two of those were after I called her to tell her that she had messages on the machine. I arrive to my room four hours later than planned. I got home to see 20 plus messages on my machine. It wasn't unusual since I had been gone for a few days and my roommate wasn't there to have a bunch of messages, but what was unusual was who had left the messages and when.
My guy had left all of these messages over the course of the 4 hours I was supposed to be there. He was so worried that he called every 5 or 10 minutes. I am NEVER late. If I say I'm going to be back after being at home by Noon, then I'm back by Noon. I'm definitely not back at 6pm. While listening to all of these messages, I jumped out of my skin because he knocked on my window - I let him in and the look on his face was two fold. First was of relief and the second was of pure terrification (is that a word?). He was absolutely terrified that something had happened to me and when he realized I was okay he was relieved. We went out for dinner and then had the longest conversation of our lives. We discussed our relationship. We discussed things that had gone wrong and things that had gone right. We finally decided together that our relationship needed to go back to the way things were before we started dating. I think he and I talked from 6pm until well past midnight. It was the best and worst conversation we had ever had.
*** To be Continued ***