The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

About three weeks ago, I felt a twinge. The twinge of a headache. This wasn't just any headache. It rivaled the headaches I had pre-diagnosis. The twinge lasted three days. Shortly thereafter, I felt another twinge. The twinge of fatigue. This wasn't just any fatigue. It rivaled the fatigue I had pre-diagnosis. The fatigue lasted three days. Shortly thereafter, I felt another twinge. The twinge of vibrating knees. I placed my hands on my knees while bending over to talk with a child. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Shortly thereafter, I felt another twinge. The twinge of a sore throat, a cough, a runny nose. The headache reappeared and so did the fatigue.

The thing about these twinges is that I have felt them all before. I am omniscent when it comes to these twinges. The twinges and I are old dear friends. And yet I want this "old dear friend" to visit quickly and leave.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have been granted with knowledge. I have a weapon against these twinges. Those weapons are the supplements that have been sitting on my kitchen table for 6 weeks. I chose to take a sabbatical for my Lyme & friends treatment. I had been in ongoing treatment for well over two years and I was exhausted. I gave myself a break. I pretty much have given myself a break since February when my PICC line was pulled. I wanted to see just how far I could push myself before I had to use these weapons. I haven't had an IV since February and have barely taken any oral supplements (with the exception of Protein shakes that I was heavily encouraged to make).

So now .. I take that step of courage to change the things I can. Last night, I courageously went over and picked up two new bottles of supplements. I filled a glass of water and drop by drop put these two new supplements into the water. Courage. I need courage. These new supplements taste nasty. I almost threw up the moment it hit my mouth. I learned one thing last night. Don't fill up a whole glass of water. Use about one ounce instead .. ;) (IE: Change the things I can).

Tonight I took my third dose of supplements. I am already feeling the effects. I am burning up and swollen. My head and teeth hurt. It hurts to breathe and I'm coughing so hard that my ribs and abs ache. My hands are shaky and it's only the 2nd day.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.