Sitting here

My head hurts so badly that I can see colors of pink and green.   I'm trying to push through the pain because I feel guilty for just sitting here day after day.  I shouldn't feel guilty.  I have this disease that no person (without Lyme) could understand.    So today, I am pushing through the pain.  I started with one load of laundry.  I simply hung up a load of my husband's shirts.  Then I pushed myself to wash and dry and fold a load of towels.  Then I pushed myself again to wash and dry and put away another load of laundry. Now, I wash sheets and blankets that have been sitting in a dirty clothes bin since May.   My goal today is to simply get through all of the laundry in the house.  I want to be able to look at the bottom of every single laundry basket including the load of shirts that I want to hang dry instead of putting them in the dryer. I'm getting there, but I hurt.  I hurt so badly that I just want to cry.  I want to crawl into the bed and cover my head in hopes to stop the pain, but that won't help.  So I sit here doing what will help.  The laundry.  It will make me feel better to get to the bottom of the baskets. I sit here. I don't remember the last day I didn't have some sort of headache.