May 2007

So I'm going through old emails. Trying to delete things. I have over 3,000 messages in my sent folder. So I am starting simple. I'll take 26 days to work through it. One letter per day. Yesterday I deleted most of the A's. Today I tackled the B's, but I read some of them. My heart pitted into my stomach. I read this that I had sent to a friend in May of 2007. This was a couple of months after I was diagnosed with Lyme.

"Last night was absolutely horrid. I even took pictures of my face. So I got into bed and notice all these little small reddish purple dots all over my skin. I think, "That's odd."In an instant, my elbows start giving me lots of pain. It jumped from one joint to the next. The pain was excruciating and the bumps were getting to become a brighter purple. Within moments, I start feeling nauseated.

I got up. I had explosive diarrhea. Afterwards, I noticed my face in the mirror. Those red/purplish dots are everywhere and I have a huge rash on my face. I get back in the bed. All the sudden I knew if I didn't get up right away I was gonna have a huge mess on my hands. It was horrible and wretched. I have never thrown up that hard or that much. The purple dots on my body slowly go away. My face is slowly returning to normal. This moring the rash on my body is completely gone (except this little pimply dot looking things which are almost always there anyways),but the dots around my eyes are not gone. I thought once I started treatment that I would feel better and that these episodes would stop. When will these things end? How long is enough? I'm so tired."

I don't remember this specific day, but I remember days and months and years like this.