Acceptance

I have often struggled with acceptance over my 35 years of life.

How do I accept things that I do not want (or think I need) in my life? A prime example of this was between 6th and 7th grade, my family moved a couple of counties away. I struggled with acceptance. For the first three years I was there, whenever anyone asked what time I was going home that day, I would say, "I don't know. This is not home for me." I couldn't wait to go back to my old home town. I hated where I lived. It was a difficult thing to swallow that I would not be going back to live there. I struggled with acceptance. Finally, I accepted that it was my home. I began to make friends, best friends.

Then there was the acceptance of Lyme Disease. There were many doctors that just wanted me to accept the multitude of symptoms that I had. They also wanted me to accept the fact that it was all psychological and not a sign of any disease. I wouldn't accept it. I couldn't accept it. Then I sought the help of a phenomenal doctor. He gave me a diagnosis and I accepted it. Lyme Disease. I try not to make it my life, but it is. I live and breath Lyme Disease. If I could, I would open up a "business" that would teach people about Lyme Disease that would help others with Lyme Disease. Though I wouldn't make money doing that, I have to accept that too.

The other part of acceptance is having people accept me for who I am. Most people either like me or they don't. There is no in between. I have a unique personality that annoys some people. In fact, most people don't get me unless they get me. I'm kind of like Lyme Disease in that way. You don't get Lyme unless you get Lyme. And paraphrasing a friend of mine, if they would just get to know you, they'd love you like I do. My friends have accepted me. Acceptance is nice. I like the world accepting me for who I am. And for those that don't, I really shouldn't care. But I do.

December of 1994, I got a letter in the mail. I had always been told that a "huge" package would mean acceptance and a small one would mean rejection. I got the small one. I was crushed. It was the only university I wanted to attend. Then I opened the letter and saw that I was accepted. Myth debunked. Acceptance doesn't just come in big packages. Acceptance sometimes comes in small packages too. I was reminded of this just yesterday when I received another small package. You see, I applied to the local community college to take a couple of courses in the spring. I got a small letter. I was accepted. It's always nice to be accepted.