NC Lyme Advocacy Financial Support

NC Lyme Advocacy needs your support. Recently, we just renewed 4 domains and will need to do that again next year, but we need your support now.  Any support we can get will help tremendously.  Below is an easy to use shopping cart with different options.  Once we receive the funds needed for the domains, we will change this to indicate where else we need your help.  We appreciate your willingness to help us continue to help you.  Please visit our websites:

And these are our costs for 2015
www.nclymeadvocacy.com - cost about $15.17 to run for one year
www.nclymeadvocacy.info - cost about $13.17 to run for one year (covered by bracelet sale)
www.nclymeadvocacy.net - costs about 17.17 to run for one year
www.nclymeadvocacy.org - cost about $18.17 to run for one year
4 new ink cartridges - $55 to $65 each - Our color cartridges are completely empty. 

Here is a way to help by simply donating.

Please help us with these things.

6 months for 4 domains $35.00 USD    12 months for 4 domains $70.00 USD    6 months for 1 domain $10.00 USD    12 months for 1 domain $20.00 USD    Ink Cartridge (Cyan) $60.00 USD    Ink Cartidge (Magenta) $60.00 USD    Ink Cartridge (Yellow) $60.00 USD    Ink Cartirdge (Black) $60.00 USD    any little bit helps $5.00 USD

If you'd like, you can also order some bracelets.

https://nclymeadvocacy.wordpress.com/fundraisers/

Today is Mesotheilioma Day. What's Mesotheiloma you ask?  Find out from my friend Heather at her blog.
http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/#.VCXBqRYVG0Q

New Blog & New Bracelet Design

HI everyone!  Remember to go check out the new blog at http:livinglymelife.wordpress.com 
There have been several new posts since I opened it up including information about my newest treatment & reactions. 

However I haven't figured out how to add a paypal button to wordpress quite yet so I updated my paypal button for my We Fight Lyme Together bracelet sales on the right and wanted to post something here as well.  As soon as I find the card reader, I will post new pictures - However, I ordered a "new design" for the bracelets.  So I now have two design options and two size options.  The original design is Lime Green & White swirled.  The new design has Lime Green/White/Blue segmented.  There are many "variations" in the new order so each one is unique.  Some of the designs start the We on the white portion, while others start on the green or blue portion.  I will randomly pull bracelets for orders for the Tri-Color option. 

You may want to know what I use the proceeds for.  I use the proceeds for a variety of different things. 

• proceeds help pay for my new treatment protocol.  
• proceeds help raise awareness for Lyme in North Carolina
• sometimes proceeds help pay for the original cost of the bracelets.
• sometimes proceeds help pay for shipping if it exceeds what I've requested.

Quanity

5 for $20.00 $20.00 USD    10 for $40.00 $40.00 USD

Sizes

7 inch     8 inch     Combination of 7 & 8 inch

Colors

Original Design of Lime/White Swirl     New Design of Lime/White/Blue Segmented     Combination of the two designs

New posts at LTLL Wordpress

Since sharing that I began a new blog, I've written a few new posts.  Come check it out!

http://livinglymelife.wordpress.com

I have yet to work on getting some old posts from this blog over there, but I will.

On the new blog, I discuss my most recent follow up, discuss the difficulties of daily living of having a picc line and also how I was trying my best to be patient.

Please come join me over there as I will try to update more frequently, especially during the journey of the 2nd PICC line.

The Time To Ask For Help

A lot has happened over the last day.   I have been in and out of treatment for over 6 and 1/2 years.  I am hopeful that insurance will cover at least a small portion of my upcoming treatment, but I also understand the realities that many Lyme patients get denied coverage for IV antibiotics.  In order to fight, I need help.  I never dreamed that I would ever ask for outside help, but the time has come. 



Any contributions to my paypal account would be greatly appreciated.  Below is an easy to make contribution button for my treatments.  I want to send something back for your help so for those that donate $25.00 - they will receive 5 We Fight Lyme Together Bracelets.  For those that donate $50.00 - you will receive 10 We Fight Lyme Together Bracelets.  For those that donate $100.00 - you will receive 20 We Fight Lyme Together Bracelets.  This will continue while supplies last.

If you want to contribute an amount that isn't listed below, you can send it directly to the paypal account -
livinglymelife@gmail.com


Thank you so much.  Even the smallest amount will help.

Thank you for helping me pay for treatments

Donation for treatment $25.00 USD     Donation for treatment $50.00 USD     Donation for treatment $100.00 USD

We Fight Lyme Together Bracelet Sizes

Size 7 inch     Size 8 inch     Combination of both

New Blog Website

I have been thinking that since I am on wordpress for NC Lyme Advocacy more often than I am on blogger, that it might be better for me to open up Living the Lyme Life on Wordpress.  So I have.  I will be putting some of my older posts from here on the new website over the next few weeks, but for now I have a welcome post and information from when I got my first PICC Line in 2008.  Please feel free to visit and I hope to be posting on a more regular basis.  For a while, I may post in both places.  However eventually I suspect that I will taper off blogger and use only wordpress.

http://livinglymelife.wordpress.com/

Yes, I'm alive!

I'd like to say I have no excuse for not blogging, but truth is I have a few reasons that I've not blogged. 

The first one is the absolute worst thing that can happen - I forgot my log in and my password - and my email address for the blog.  I couldn't log in.  I woke up at 3am - and REMEMBERED - and because I had a Lyme moment before I went to bed and didn't put the heater on a timer, I woke up to an almost 80 degree room.  Sweltering hot.  So I got up - piddled on the computer and just now decided to try to see if I actually did remember the log in and password.  Maybe I need to write that sucker down!   The next reason I've been quiet is that I've just not felt like sharing. 

Let's go back to that heater - I stay chronically cold.  However, it is not economically affordable to keep the house at a temperature that would keep me nice and toasty.  So during the day, I pretty much stay covered up with a blanket.  If I get too cold, I turn on the fire place and it helps slightly.  However at night, I freeze.  I do have an electric blanket and it works well, but if I scooch it around and it isn't on me directly, I shiver until it wakes me up.  So last winter, we got the bright idea to get a small heater for the bedroom.   It has a timer - and a thermostat.  So what I do - is turn it on for 75 degrees and set it to run for 2 hours. 

If I do this right as I get into bed, the room is cool enough for me to get to sleep and the room warms up so I'm cozy the first couple of hours.  If I get to sleep quickly, I sleep well through the night. And then the heater turns off - and the house heater continues to run when the rest of the house is cooler than 68.  So in the winter when I wake up, it is likely still 70 to 72 in the bedroom when I wake. It works well for me.  However, last night.  I failed to turn it on for 2 hours.  So - from 8 until 3 - the heater ran.  Also, the house heat ran.  So when I woke at 3am sweating and uncomfortable and feeling like I was going to pass out - I saw the temperature was at a balmy 78.3 degrees. I knew I wouldn't be getting back to sleep so I just got up til my body could feel a little cooler.  Now my toes are  freezing. I'll probably try to go back to bed, but doubt I'll get much sleep. 

Sleep:  Many Lyme patients have trouble sleeping.   I tend to not have this problem.  My problems is that I sleep too much.  However about one night a month, I'll have trouble either falling asleep - or - staying asleep. There is no rhyme or reason for that night in the month.  Tonight, there was a reason.  The heat.  Maybe it will still count for my once in December sleepless night.  Now the thing is I still got almost 7 straight hours of sleep - even WITH waking up at 3am.  However, I typically sleep at least 10 hours, sometimes if the dogs cooperate I sleep 12 or more. 

Well I hope to share more soon.  I've had so much go on since my last post, but I likely won't be back-sharing. 

Vector Borne Infection Night

NC Lyme Advocacy Presents Vector Borne Infection Awareness Night Featuring Award Winning Documentary: Under Our Skin on Tuesday, October 8, 2013 at the Johnston County Agricultural Center* (please see note at bottom regarding location)

Please EARLY RSVP by Friday October 4th in order to help us prepare for the event.  Registration gives us an idea of how many to plan for, but no one will be turned away at the door for lack of RSVP.

REGISTER HERE

Although there may be a small registration table outside the auditorium prior to 5:30, the doors for the auditorium will open for the public at 5:30.

Preliminary Itinerary:

5:30 to 6:00 – Registration – This will be the time you can check in at the registration table, go look at the brochure & display tables, check out the snack booth (for those that RSVP and others on a first come first serve basis) and find your seat for the presentation

6:00 to 6:15 – Introduction & Welcome Message by NCLA co-founder

6:15 to 7:00 -An educational presentation will begin promptly at 6PM by Dr. Mike Waldvogel.  Dr. Waldvogel serves as the Extension Specialist and Extension Associate Professor at NC State  University in the Entomology Department.  He also serves as Director of Structural Pest Management Training & Research Facility.  The presentation will be 45 minutes long about ticks and mosquitoes.  Dr. Waldvogel will cover their life cycles, habitats where they live and how to prevent bites.

7:00 to 7:15 – Quick Break for everyone to stretch their legs a bit, run to the restroom, grab a quick water and for everyone to have a chance to look at the display again.

7:15 to 9:00 – Documentary of Under Our Skin will be shown.

9:00 to 9:15 – Quick Question & Answer

9:15 to 9:30 – Conclusion.

*note about address*

The Address is 2736 NC Highway 210, Smithfield, NC 27577*  Note from Amie. The map that is used by Google does not have our office listed in the right location.  If you use Mapquest or a GPS then they will take you to our office if you put in 2736 NC Highway 210, Smithfield, NC 27577.

If however you use Google maps or a GPS which runs off their system then you have to put in the address for 2640 NC Highway 210, Smithfield, NC 27577.  They don’t know why this happens and they’ve tried to fix it, but that should take you tot he right spot if your GPS uses google maps.

Sponsors

We would like to take the time to thank the following groups, companies or organizations for helping us with our Vector Borne Awareness Night.  Without the following, this event wouldn’t be happening

• Johnston County Agricultural Center (Special thanks to Amie!)
• NCSU (Special Thanks to Dr. Waldvogel for his presentation)
• Lyme Disease Association (providing brochures, tick cards and bookmarks)
• CDC (providing bookmarks, a few signs and some information on West Nile virus)
• IgeneX – generously donating some tick tools for our first 30 registered guests and providing brochures
• Damminix – generously providing a box of Tick Tubes to show at the event.

Reintroduction and updates

I know that I have several new readers and based on an email I received I did want to reintroduce myself and give an update on how I'm doing.  I've taken bits and pieces from old blog posts and introducing some new information.  But first - I will answer a few questions that I received in email this morning. 

• How well are you feeling into your treatment right now?
• How long have you been in treatment?
• How bad was it at the beginning?

I have been in and out of treatment since March of 2007.  When I first began treatment, the herxheimer reaction of traditional oral therapy was overwhelming.  I was barely able to function, but pushed through to work full time. However,  there were days where I had vertigo so badly and I even had hallucinations.  It was absolutely terrible.  So we swapped up therapies to alternative treatments.  Slowly, but surely I improved.  I went through a period of remission and did very little treatment during that time. Although I didn't feel completely healthy, I felt better than I had in years.  Then the fall of 2011 happened.  It was one of those things where I felt great in the middle of July of 2011, but at the end of July and August - I began doing what I call the "lymie slide,"  and then by September I felt completely miserable.  When I fell "off the wagon" in the fall of 2011, I fell hard.  At first we tried to go with alternative methods, but when those didn't seem to be working - we went hard core with oral antibiotics.  Then in July of 2013, I was so miserable that it was hard for me to even function.  I stopped going to things I always did (like the Lyme support group in the area that I've been leading lately).  So I began a strict detox protocol which included several things - supplements, lots of water, rebounding, lymphatic massage and ionic foot bath. I feel better than I did in July, but I am no where close to where I was when I was in remission in 2010. 

Now onto the "back story" -


I began this blog, Living the Lyme Life, in September of 2008.  I had already been in treatment for Lyme for 18 months and wish I had begun the blog earlier.  My name is Jennifer and this is my blog.  I began the fight of my life in 1995.  I wrote specifically on the years between 1995 and 2007 on a blog entry entitled Jennifer's Background Story.  This was specifically about when my fight began and the doctors I saw.  It talks about some of my experiences and also my experience the first time I saw my Lyme Literate Doctor.

Since my Lyme diagnosis in 2007, I've dabbled in other diagnoses too. I've had mineral deficiency, progesterone deficiency, heavy metal toxicity, multiple co-infections (including Bartonella & Babesia), anemia and multiple other health issues. A PICC Line was inserted into my right arm in July 2008 and I battled keeping it safe daily until February 2009.  Thanks to my wonderful nurses, doctors, insertion team and my husband, I was able to keep my line much longer than I should have.  I used it right up until the night before it was finally pulled and based on how it looked when we pulled it, it probably should have been pulled a few months prior. 

 Most people assume that because I had a PICC line that it was used for antibiotic therapy.  However, it was not used for this.  We used the PICC line for IV vitamins, minerals and other supplemental therapies such as Chelation for the heavy metal toxicity.  In addition to these things, I used an experimental IV protocol for about 9 months.  It is no longer available and I rarely talk about it because of its controversial nature.  However, I feel like that protocol did more for me than any other protocol combined.  It brought me to remission until the fall of 2011 when I slipped out of remission.




In addition to traditional oral antibiotics, I dabbled in alternative therapies including Low Dose Naltraxone.  Many have raved over this therapy to help with immune function, it gave me terrible headaches and caused sleep disturbances.  After trying for over a year to increase the dosage with little success, I gave up.  I also used some low pressure Hyperbaric therapy.  It relieved many of my symptoms including my terrible headaches, fatigue and mood swings, but due to symptoms of Babesia flaring I had to stop getting that therapy.

I've utilized a variety of homeopathic remedies and still use some of them even today.  About a year ago, I began a new antibiotic regiment taking three or four at a time.  I pulsed and even considered getting another PICC line to use specifically for IV antibiotic and supplemental therapies.  However I continued to get worse on the oral antibiotics. I pushed myself from January to May 2013 to live a more "normal" life and paid the price in June and July.  I felt that 95% of my life revolved around my Lyme/Babesia/Bartonella symptoms. I had some really bad days.  So when I returned for a follow up in July I practically begged to go another route.  So we decided to strictly do a detox protocol.  I have improved slightly, but no where near ready to return to what others call a "normal" life.  I worked full time from the time of my diagnosis (2007) until December of 2011 when I finally made the decision to quit my full time position.  At the end of my notice, my boss offered and I accepted a substitute position with the caveat that I could say no if I was unable to work due to health or appointments without them making me feel guilty.   So I get to go in every now and then and it gives me therapy for my soul.

My husband and I got married in 2000.  He is my rock.  He supports me with his quirky sense of humor and his determination to get to the root of my health issues saved my life.  Together, we have rescued two dogs.  We adopted a lab mix from the SPCA and a rescued Dachshund.  In May of 2012, we moved from our first home into a new home. 

Sorry I've been so quiet

Yes.  I am still living.  I have been quiet for a few reasons.  I have been extremely busy with some Lyme projects.  But I've also been forgetful.  I forgot my own sign in information to log into the blog!  Somehow I just happened to remember it.  Now one would think that if one had a blog since 2008 - that one would remember log in information, apparently not me.  Lyme Brain at its finest!

Since my last official update:  I've had two follow ups - some blood work - and some IV's.  After May (LDA month), I pretty much crashed in more than one way.  I pretty much didn't do much in June or July.  It was hard to explain to people that I just didn't feel like myself.  Now with Lyme Disease (and all of the co-infections:  Babesia & Bartonella), I have pushed through to feel pretty much like Jennifer - even when I feel at my worst.  So when I stopped feeling like "Jennifer,"  I began feeling pretty upset.

That's when it was decided that I needed to clear my lymph pathways - and focus on detoxification.  I've done a lot of things to focus on detoxing -

• Supplement Lists (which will remain private)
• Lymphatic Massage
• Rebounding
• Ionic Foot Bath
• Other things that my brain isn't remembering right now.

Bottom line - I'm slowly seeing "Jennifer" return.  I still feel lousy, but there is a little more pep in my step, a little more sparkle in my eyes, a little more lift to my lips (smile) and I feel a little more "Jennifer" and a lot off "that other person"  (quote from The Avengers - when Banner is talking about The Hulk).


Since I'm feeling a bit more Jennifer - I am working solidly on Lyme Awareness in NC.  I'm planning a documentary screening of Under Our Skin in NC for October with a friend.  Getting excited and hope we have a good turn out. 

Well, I think I've worn myself out just typing all of this.  I'm sorry for the delay in blog posts.  I'll try to do better now that I've logged in.

The Big Announcement

I really meant to post this before, but alas I failed.  I feel like one part of my life has to be put on hold while I'm doing such a huge project and unfortunately my personal blog fell to the waste.  As I said at the beginning of the month ---  I really am taking "Living the Lyme Life" to a whole new level.  In more than one way.



http://uslymeadvocacy.wordpress.com


Yes folks - I am uniting the states with Lyme Awareness. 

We Fight Lyme Together Bracelet Sales

Please order our We Fight Lyme Together Bracelets to help out with NC Lyme Advocacy. We are using the most current proceeds for the Vector Borne Infection Awareness Night on October 8th - If you straight up want to donate, but don't want to order the bracelets - contact me via email (located on the side of the blog) or comment with your email address and I will contact you with how to make that happen.

A portion of the proceeds will go directly to raise awareness in North Carolina.

Sizes and Quantities

3 size 7 inch bracelets $12.00 USD    3 size 8 inch bracelets $12.00 USD    3 - Combination Sizes $12.00 USD    5 bracelets - size 7 inch $20.00 USD    5 bracelets- size 8 inch $20.00 USD    5 bracelets - Combination Sizes $20.00 USD    10 Bracelets - Size 7 inch $35.00 USD    10 bracelets - Size 8 inch $35.00 USD    10 Bracelets - Combination Sizes $35.00 USD

Taking it to a whole new level

I really am taking "Living the Lyme Life" to a whole new level.  In more than one way. 

So I have really been neglecting my personal blog.  I apologize for that, but when you hear the reason - everyone will understand.   Unfortunately, I can't share that information on this blog at this time.  However, I'll share that it does involve Lyme Disease. 

Be patient and I will share as soon as I can, but know that I'm very busy - living the LYME life. 

The Subtext of Life

Words.  Phrase.  Articulation. 

When words are put together, they form a sentence. 

The cat ran.

This is such a simple sentence. However, this simple sentence isn't so simple when you say it.  Inevitably, someone reads subtext into a simple sentence.  This can often vary by the person that states the phrase and the person that is listening to it. Let me give you a few examples

I say, "The cat ran."  Someone might immediately think on of the following scenarios:

• The cat ran in the grass.
• The cat ran in the house.
• The cat ran from the dog
• The cat ran during thunder.
• The cat ran using all four paws.
• The cat ran away from home.

When you hear the phrase, "The cat ran," you may already predisposed to think where the cat ran to or why the cat ran or even how the cat ran.  However,  I was just making a simple statement that the cat ran.  There was no sub-text into where, why or how of this statement.  However, people often jump to conclusions and imagine there is more to the sentence than there is based on past experiences.

If this simple phrase can have subtext, imagine other sentences in life.  Some people throw subtext into every day conversation with their body language.  They say one thing, but really are intending to say something else.   For me - about 9 out of 10 times, what I say is what I mean.  If I ask for someone to do something, there's no subtext to follow.  It's just a simple request.  But because so many people are used to others using subtext, they make assumptions based on my statements.  When in reality, I simply just wanted you to take the trash out - or remove a post - or whatever it was that I asked you to do.  It's as simple as that. 

Speaking of subtext - some people are going to read this and ASSUME I am talking about someone in particular - and again - you'd be incorrect.  It's not about anyone.  I was just thinking on the way home that sometimes simple sentences can be so misconstrued with subtext that the meaning gets lost in translation.

So from now on - whenever you read something - or hear something, listen.  Not just hear, but listen.  Sometimes the 5 words that comes out of the person's mouth is really just the 5 words - and not a 20 paragraph dissertation.  :)

Itchy Update

• During the day was better in itchiness.  
• Apparently still very itchy at night though.  It's woken me up three times thus far.
• What I wouldn't give for one full night of sleep - or maybe even just one night with only waking once.
• Redness is about the same and irritation spots about the same.  One small step. 
• Take Diflucan number 4 tomorrow (er today) - that's typically the sweet spot number if it's a fungal infection for itchiness to completely stop

The Itching Game

The stages of an itch usually follow a pattern. 

• There is an itch.
• You scratch it.
• There is relief.

 This can be true for many types of itches. However one type it itch plays hide & go seek  --

• There is an itch.
• You scratch it.
• It moves.
• You scratch it again.
• It moves.
• You scratch it again.
• There is relief.

However, there is one type of itch that is quite annoying.  Annoying indeed.

• There is an itch.
• You scratch it.
• It itches worse.  
• You scratch some more.
• It itches worse.
• Houston, we have a problem.

This has happened to me, yet again.

First let me begin by saying I have re-occuring systemic yeast problems.  It happens and I usually realize it quickly and begin a protocol.  By looking back to 2008, it took 4 days of this protocol to help this kind of itchiness in the past.

Now there are multiple things that I think are important and some are a little bit TMI.  I'm a modest girl so I'll keep it friendly, but - I can't explain everything without explaining everything.  For my male readers - aka that's you Kaptain Blue, you might want to just want to  just go back to like 2008 and reread and old blog.  LOL.

It all began on a quiet Wednesday afternoon. I ran out of my monthly supplies on day 3.  All you ladies (and probably some gentlemen) know what I'm talking about.  So a quick trip to the store was in order.  When I arrived, I realized they had a bargain so I bought up 3 boxes of my favorite brand.  However instead of getting my regular supply, I mixed it up a bit.  I thought why not mix it up - they've had this "new" product out for a bit and I've heard great things about it.  I got home and unwrapped this pretty package of U by Kotex. I think you ladies know where I'm going with this.  It was Mistake Number One! On Wednesday afternoon, I used the product twice.



Thursday I had scheduled a lymphatic massage for detoxing.   So, I decided to shave the bikini line.  Mistake Number Two.   I must say I really enjoyed it, but boy did we find my painful spots.  By this point, I had used the product two or three more times.  By Thursday night, I felt an "itch."  I won't tell you where exactly this "itch" was located, but all you ladies know this itch - an uncomfortable itch that's inconvenient and a bit disgusting to scratch -especially in public. Upon further investigation, I discovered a small bump - like that of a bug bite on my tush.  I figured in that moment the bug bite was the cause of the itch.  There was no alarm.  Side note:  That night, I grabbed one of my original product instead of the new pretty packaging product.



I went to sleep Thursday night thinking nothing of the little itch and bump.  Boy was I wrong.  Mistake number 3.  I should have started treating that little itch & bump Thursday  night because Friday morning I woke up and I was really itchy.  I was so itchy - I decided to just leave off any extra things that might cause irritation - IE:  I knew I would have some messy under garments, but it was worth it.  See told you might be a bit TMI.


By Friday evening, I was in a pickle.  I realized that I had a lot of redness and irritation (and itching).  So I grabbed a tube of handy dandy lotrimin ultra and applied onto the skin where it was red and irritated.  Upon contact, it felt better.  I slept well - although woke frequently itching.


By Saturday, I was truly in pain.  It was an itch so bad that it hurt.  I couldn't scratch it because t hat would make it worse - If you don't know - any itch/rash area that you scratch over and over again could cause an infection if you break the skin.  And since I'm trying to avoid any antibiotics over the next 6 weeks - (have gone 2 weeks so far) I'm trying not to scratch.  I alternated using antifungal cream and neosporin on my red/raging/irritated/angry/itchy skin.  To clarify, it is just the skin that's red and fussy.  Thank God!  I began Diflucan (why I didn't on Friday - I don't know.  I'm fussing at myself about that right now! - yes at 2:50 am).

Sunday, I picked up Coconut Oil.  I've heard many good things about it.  I used it.  It was "so so" in remedy for itching - but I've also heard it's a great natural antibiotic/antifungal therapy for skin. So I've alternated the  creams around today to try to hit the rash from every angle and then it hit me -

• The new product irritated my skin.. (probably need to add an cortisone cream in there)

• The shaving irritated my skin more - would have been better off if I had left well enough alone during my monthly visitor.  (this is where I'm using the antibiotic cream)

• The yeast went out of control due to a combination of - already having system yeast overgrowth in my body (with no other symptoms, I didn't realize), lymphatic massage pulling things out to the surface, and because it was already irritated due to the product & the shaving - the rash landed on a very unfortunate area of the body.  (Diflucan and Antifungal Cream - alternating with Coconut Oil)

Because of this itch - I haven't slept well since Thursday night.  I have to work today through Thursday.  First 4 day week since I quit - and most of those days are almost 8 hour days.  If my bosses were in town, I'd not go - but this week I am the boss.  I have to go.  So wish me luck as I sit down, cross my legs and hope that the itching doesn't go crazy while I'm at work. 

The redness has subsided a bit. It doesn't look quite as angry as it did on Saturday.   If past experiences tell me anything, the rash will be gone by day 4 of Diflican - which isn't until Tuesday.   However, my past rashes weren't this severe and angry before I started treating.   

Dealing with anger

Dealing with Anger:  Anger is something we all have at one point or another.  If someone says they've never gotten angry, they're either lying or they've simply forgotten - thanks to that lovely Lyme effect of memory loss at times.  I hope that my post will help someone reading in how they deal with anger based on how I handle mine.  First I have to say that I don't get angry a lot.  I'm just not an angry person in general.  However there are a few things that press my anger buttons - So I have to know how to channel that and how to control my emotions so that I don't do something I'll regret later. 

The one thing I've found is that anger is like crinkling up a piece of paper.  You can crinkle that thing all up and not tear it, but you can not get that piece of paper to go back to its original shape even if you iron out all the wrinkles - something is left behind from the crinkling (anger).  Crinkling paper for me is a release.  So if I'm extra worried or stressed, I may take some paper and crinkle.  So if you ever come to my house and you see a stack of papers crinkled on my desk, it means I was stressed or worried.  One day a few weeks ago I crinkled a whole notepad of papers.  It was better to damage that paper than to damage a relationship.  I'm sure there are better ways to deal with it, but for me - this is something that works.    You have to find your own way  to release the tension.  For some, it's a stress ball.  For others, it's one of those worry stones.For me, it's paper.





So I have to remember 4 basic things about anger. 

1. Anger is a human emotion.
2. Anger hides fear.  What is the fear and deal with it.
3. Anger can damage relationships.
4. Resolve the problem, Dissolve the anger, and Let It Go!

Whether online or in person - I try to work through some steps with anger. 

• Waiting it out.  This is particularly helpful online. If someone does something that makes me angry, I try to wait.   If it made me REALLY angry, I wait for a whole 24 hours before reading it again.  Because chances are, I just read what they wrote wrong. Either I read it entirely wrong because my brain wasn't working right for reading comprehension or I simply read their intentions wrong.  By waiting it out, it stopped me from reacting before I say something I might regret later.

• Journaling - sometimes it can be helpful to make an "emotions notebook."  There can be patterns.  I know that I'm more likely to take things the wrong way around my cycle.  I try to avoid making decisions and talking to people that I know are likely to set me off during that time of the month.   

• When responding to someone, make a negative sandwich.  That means - start with a positive and end with a positive and sandwich the negative in the middle.

• Anger can lead to depression.  Depression is never a good place to be.  I try to never to let a day go by without a smile.  Back in 2008 or 2009, I can't remember when, I made a promise to a friend that I would smile at least once every day whether I meant it or not.  The next year, I made a promise that I'd make at least one other smile daily if I saw people that day.  It has helped tremendously and soon enough I found that I was smiling almost all the time.  It wasn't a forced effort.  Even if we're sick, we can be happy. 

• If I *must* respond to someone that's made me angry, I try to talk it out and use "I" phrases with calm words (this means no upper case letters in an instant message).  I also try to do this privately.  There is no need to take my anger out on someone else publicly.  It makes the other person look bad, but it also makes me look bad.    9 out of 10 times things can be resolved quickly with an instant message rather than going back and forth publicly.  While hurt can dissolve, trust can never really be regained if there is public humiliation. 

True story that happened recently.  One night someone raked me over the coals publicly.  It was a few people plus a friend that didn't stand up for me.  In my opinion this happened for a couple of reasons - They were angry at their own Lyme Disease and because of that they weren't thinking clearly and took it out on me.  I think they expected me to blow up at them, instead I waited.  I cried.  I got angry quietly.  They hurt me deeply.  I wasn't sure how to respond so I waited and cried some more.  I cry when i get super angry because I don't know if I'm going to make the problem worse by responding or just letting it go. 

I finally responded in a private message to my "friend."   I simply asked why.  And in keeping it simple, we were able to resolve some conflict - which didn't even actually involve me.  What this friend didn't know is that over the past week or two I had stood up for her behind closed doors and I gave her the benefit of the doubt first.  After the public humiliation, she made me question my own philosophies of giving people the benefit of the doubt.    She crinkled up our relationship and I will never be able to fully trust her again.  She planted a seed of doubt in my mind because she actively participated in raking me over the coals.

However, I did have a responsibility to help her and the others so I took care of the problem PRIVATELY.  Apparently I'm an innate peace maker.  I want to make peace between two people so bad that I put myself in the middle of it.  The other person felt so badly that she was the trigger for the group's anger on me.  This other person is actually a very good friend of mine and never would have done anything to intentionally cause me pain. 


Many people would have exploded to the people in a public way the way that these people did about me, but I'm not many people.  It may have looked like I wasn't standing up for myself, but I was standing up for myself.  I was just doing it privately -  I never got an apology from one person, the second person is acting like something never happened and the third told me she realized the mistakes she made.  However - Anger has damaged this relationship.  It will never be the same just like the pile of note pad paper that incident caused me to ruin.     




Bottom line is - When something is upsetting you, try to take care of it privately.  Don't go out of your way to make the other person look bad because in the end you make yourself look  bad.




So remember these thing - and I highlighted the two most important things:

1. Anger is a human emotion.
2. Anger hides fear.  What is the fear and deal with it.
3. Anger can damage relationships.
4. Resolve the problem, Dissolve the anger, and Let It Go!

Babesia Sweats

Sometimes I think I have it beat - and other times - like today - I am drenched in sweat. 

Calgon take me away!

It's back!!! (SYTYCD)

The top 20 have finally been chosen on So You Think You Can Dance. 

I am excited for the season after night one of couples dancing together.  I thought I'd make a list of favorite to least favorite.  I can't even say best to worst because even the ones that are in my bottom three are wonderful dancers.

My Top 3 are:

• Amy & Fik-Shun - Sonya Contemporary Piece (see below)
• Jasmine M & Alan - Travis Wall Blind-folded piece (see here: http://youtu.be/IGZYCp1mQac)
• Jasmine H & Aaron - Sonya Jazz Piece (see below)

My Middle 4 are:

• Brittany & BluPrint - Afro Jazz
• Makenzie & Paul - Waltz 
• Malece & Jade - Travis Wall Jazz
• Hayley & Curtis - Hip Hop Piece (see here:  ht=tp://youtu.be/1NDUVV5KXVk)

My Bottom 3 are:

• Alexis & Nico - Hip Hop
• Jenna & Tucker - Broadway
• Mariah & Carlos - Jive

 Amy & Fik-Shun with Sonya Contemporary Choreography.




 Jasmine Harper & Aaron with Sonya Jazz Choreography.

Life theories based on Dory

Sometimes I feel like Dory - photograph taken by me at the Aquarium at Fort Fisher NC

When life gets ya down,  ---------    you just have to keep on swimming.